InfertileNaomi

a blog by Infertile Naomi, August 17, 2010

Don’t you think? Yes. I really do think.

This week in celebrity fertility news, Alanis Morissette tells US Magazine that her pregnancy with husband Mario "Souleye" Treadway was a complete surprise. "The pregnancy wasn’t planned at all,” she told the magazine excitedly. “It was a wonderful surprise.”

Similarly, Melissa Rycroft from The Bachelor and Dancing with the Stars, had baby news. “It’s been a busy year for us, a wedding and a baby!” A glowing Rycroft told US Magazine.“The pregnancy was a complete shock to us. We weren't even trying.”

I’ll pause for a moment so the pregnancy-challenged woman can finish rolling their eyes.

She wasn’t even trying? How is that even possible? Those of us living in the infertility world heavily dislike the terms “surprise pregnancies.” For us, a surprise pregnancy would mean trying for one year, visiting a fertility doctor and then, finally, getting pregnant after multiple fertility treatments. The only surprise would be “Surprise! It’s not a Big Fat Negative this time!” As women wanting a child, we don’t have that luxury of an accidental pregnancy, and we are always consumed by thoughts of mommyhood and babies.

There are a lot of celebrities who claimed their pregnancies were a complete accident. Bristol Palin and ex-fiancé Levi Johnston had a surprise teenage pregnancy, and “Oops I did it again” Jamie Lynn Spears became a teenage mom at age 16.

News flash for teenagers: If you don’t use protection, you can get pregnant.

19 and Counting TLC reality stars, Michelle and Jim Bob Duggar, probably weren’t that shocked when baby number 19 came along. They have been recently quoted in People Magazine saying “We’re open to having a 20th child.” Really Michelle Duggar? Please don’t. Seriously, that woman could just cough and get pregnant.

But for Alanis Morissette and Melissa Rycroft, having a “surprise” baby is actually nice news. We are completely envious and wish we could have a surprise baby ourselves. But as Alanis sings in her ironic song: It's meeting the man of my dreams, and then meeting his beautiful wife.

Or, in our case, it’s like meeting the man of my dreams, and then realizing that he has azoospermia. Isn’t it ironic...don't you think?

a blog by Infertile Naomi, June 24, 2010

Remember the Jennifer Aniston from seven years ago? She played sweet Rachel Green on the hit television show “Friends.” Aniston’s character was a fashion diva who was sometimes on a break from boyfriend Ross and later, ended up pregnant with baby Emma.

Fast forward to the Jennifer Aniston of today. Now, Jen graces the cover of celebrity magazines with headlines reading “Will Jen Adopt?” “Is Aniston Pregnant?” “Jen is Finally Ready for Baby at 40.”

Infertility is hard enough for those women not in the public spotlight while Jen’s uterus might as well be splashed on the cover of People Magazine. You can see the headline now.
“Jen’s Uterus Fights Back Against Pregnancy Rumors.” The article would be followed by a one-on-one chat with her uterus. “We sat down with Jennifer Aniston’s uterus this morning,” (the article would read.) “It revealed new juicy details about her ovaries, follicles and fallopian tubes!”

During her marriage to Brad Pitt, it was rumored that Jen suffered from a miscarriage and had further trouble conceiving. Later, as Jen and Brad divorced, it was rumored that she was sporting a baby bump from an unknown dad. And most recently, the rumors reveal that Jen is happy with her life at 40 but really wants to be a mom. And now the magazine celebrity world waits for the news of a little baby Aniston popping out of her 40-year-old loins. If she’s not pregnant at 50, are we still going to hear these rumors? “The Aniston uterus. A little rusty and menopausal but ready to conceive!”

For the love of Ross Geller, leave the poor woman alone! Maybe her uterus is just on a break right now.

a blog by Infertile Naomi, June 24, 2010

On a recent trip to Los Angeles, I was sitting in a café when two extremely fashionable and deliciously put together women sat down behind me. Blond Woman A looked like she stepped out of a fashion magazine and Brunette Lady B gracefully looked over the café menu like she was posing for a model shoot. I noticed that each had more shopping bags of clothing and accessories than I had in my entire closest.

As the women ordered their low-fat skim milk lattés (and I gulped back my high-fat creamy beverage), I eagerly tilted my head so I could eavesdrop on their exciting and glamorous lifestyles. The two started chatting about their recent shoe purchases and then, off-the-cuff, Blondie announces that she is going for a spa treatment following her IVF procedure next week.

“My IVF transfer’s in the morning and I’m thinking of booking a mani and pedi in the afternoon.” Blondie mentions.

“Good idea.” Brunette friend says. “I’m going to book a massage the week of my egg retrieval.”

Now, I’m a good old-fashioned girl from Toronto, and you don’t typically hear people talking openly about the taboo topics of infertility and IVF in a public café. I was intrigued and almost jumped into the conversation saying “Hey. I’m part of the infertile club too!” But I restrained myself.

The two went on to loudly compare their fertility medications, who had a better doctor and how so-and-so got pregnant naturally after trying an alternative acupuncturist. They chatted about all the celebrities who have gone through fertility treatments, including singer Celine Dion (“Six IVFs, bless her heart”) and those who they think they saw (but weren’t 100 percent sure) in the waiting room of their clinic. While I sat there in the café, it felt like infertility was the next big trend in Tinsel Town. It was like Infertility and IVF were the new Prada, and everyone wanted to try it out like it was the next big Botox treatment.

If infertility were cool, I would be very happy being part of the unpopular crowd.

But then something happened that showed me that a woman dealing with infertility is the same in all places. A pregnant woman walked into the café and the three of us turned to look. With a similar sadness and envy in our eyes, Blondie and Brunette got up to leave, with excess bags in hand.

Hollywood or not. Money or not. Celebrity or not. The heartache of infertility seems to be universal.

a blog by Infertile Naomi, June 24, 2010

I recently had the extreme pleasure of interviewing actress Brenda Strong, who, in addition to being the voice of the deceased Mary Alice Young on the hit show Desperate Housewives, is also an experienced yoga practitioner, the creator of Yoga4Fertility™ and has experienced her own personal struggle with infertility. I chatted with Brenda about her experiences with infertility in Hollywood and her growing work within the fertility community. Brenda currently lives with her husband and son in Los Angeles.

“I tell them if they truly want to be mothers, they will be. The only mystery is “how” that baby will come to them.” – Brenda Strong

Infertile Naomi: Most people know you as that fabulous actress who appears on Desperate Housewives and many other award-winning television shows and films. But your other passion is helping women struggling with infertility as the creator and yoga instructor for Yoga4Fertility™ and the National Spokesperson for The American Fertility Association. How did your own experience with infertility lead you on this path?

Brenda Strong: My journey in the world of fertility came when I was in my early thirties and had difficulty conceiving. I saw a specialist who diagnosed me with “unexplained infertility” after a series of tests. At that time, I was doing yoga and saw a Chinese medical doctor for acupuncture and herbs and was able to conceive and carry my son full term. While I was pregnant, I became a yoga teacher and became certified in pre-natal yoga. But my real difficulty came when I tried to conceive again and experienced secondary infertility. That was when I got serious about using yoga as a way to heal myself and others on this path.

Naomi: You’ve been very open about your struggle with secondary infertility and miscarriage. As an actress, did you find it difficult to disclose your struggle in Hollywood and what was the reaction?

Brenda: It’s funny. It never occurred to me to hide my struggle. I knew too many women who were going through reproductive difficulties and needed my support to consider my own risk of exposure and the impact it may have on my acting career. In fact, I realized that there was such a stigma of shame and depression associated with reproductive difficulties, that I wanted to shed light on it. I wanted to show people that it was important not to hide, but to ask for help and get that needed support, and not to go through it alone. I couldn’t pretend it wasn’t happening to me too. The reaction by my team was tepid at best. I think they were worried that if I was known as a spokesperson for infertility that it would make me less desirable as an actress. I haven’t found that to be the case however.

Naomi: As a woman going through infertility myself, I often say that I feel very lucky to have experienced this journey because it has allowed me to help others in my situation. You once said in an article, “I realized that the second child we were supposed to have was my birthing this important work – helping women through fertility issues. It was meant to be this way.”

Do you feel similarly in that infertility can be a blessing in disguise which has allowed you to inspire others?

Brenda: Absolutely! Look at the good you are doing by sharing your challenges in this blog in order for others not to feel alone and have hope! Any adversity in our life offers us an opportunity to grow, to discover an internal strength and capacity to overcome obstacles that make us more interesting and compassionate human beings.

The women I work with find a deeper trust and connection to themselves in their ability to cope with stress, to love themselves when things aren’t going well and embrace what “is” as opposed to what “should be.” The women who come out of my workshops are more aware of their feelings, their bodies, their environment, and their diet. They feel empowered to follow the path and see where it leads. They learn that they may not have a choice as to what happens to them, but they have a choice in how they respond.

I tell them if they truly want to be mothers, they will be, the only mystery is “how” that baby will come to them. If they are committed to going on the journey to discover that, it can actually be quite magical. This journey can make them become more capable as future parents as well.

Naomi, I love that you say “you are a mother, you just haven’t met your babies yet.”

Naomi: Tell us about your role as the National Spokesperson at The American Fertility Association.

Brenda: The AFA is a wonderful organization that helps couples who are experiencing reproductive difficulties understand what their options are in their family building journey. They have amazing online webinars, STD education programs and medical advisors available to assist you with questions in addition to emotional support groups. They are a great touchstone for quality blogs and information dissemination. I have been involved with them since 2005 and am honored to serve on their board as well as act in a spokesperson capacity.

Naomi: You created the Yoga4Fertilty website to help empower woman before pregnancy, during and afterwards. Can you tell us about your website, and your product offerings including your new Yoga4Fertility DVDs and Fertility Ball.

Brenda: I wanted the website to be a place where women could come at any age or stage of their lives to get good information whether in the form of my blog, the top five fertility enhancing poses, poses for pregnancy, how to ease the symptoms of menopause or how to avoid harmful environmental toxins that impact fertility and overall health.

They can purchase products that will help empower them on their journey. There is also a class schedule and teacher training program for yoga teachers who want to learn how to teach Strong Yoga 4Fertility.

Being able to offer the Fertility Ball has been exciting for me because it puts healing in the hands of women no matter where they are in the world. They will be able to enjoy the benefits of yoga and acupressure to help stimulate their chances of conceiving through these two powerful modalities of healing. Many women don’t live in urban environments where they can get to a yoga class or acupuncturist, and this will help that problem, in addition, women who do live in urban environments will have more frequent stimulation of the conception points to sustain the benefits without the high cost.

Naomi: How does yoga help women going through IUI or IVF?

Brenda: Overall, yoga in general is excellent for toning the muscles, reducing stress, balancing hormones, regulating ovulation and increasing overall health of the body. Strong Yoga4Fertility specifically addresses the reproductive organs on a physical and energetic level. It also is designed to bring your intention and your attention, into alignment, which from a quantum physics standpoint, can make a huge difference in the body’s ability to heal. I created the Four Fields of Fertility™, a four week workshop that teaches women how interconnected their thoughts, feelings, bodily function and fertility are linked together in a delicate balance. Essentially the goal is to create awareness of how thoughts and emotions impact our endocrine function and how yoga and diet can create a “fertile soil” for us to work with to boost fertility and lower stress.

Managing stress, depression, shame, and the negative cycle associated with fertility struggles is an important part of the fertility journey and being able to love yourself through the ups and downs that accompany the ride is essential to your self esteem and health.

I am a great believer in acupuncture, acupressure, massage, and sleep. Restoring the body’s natural fertile state is the key. Eliminating the things that interrupt our natural fertility potential is important as well. Not smoking, reducing or eliminating sugar, exposure to plastics and chemicals at home and work and, overall, becoming more aware of the patterns that cause stress and exhaustion are all keys to enhancing your body’s natural ability to conceive.

Naomi: Do you have any recommendations for men dealing with male factor infertility? (My husband could use some advice on this subject!).

Brenda: Male factor fertility is something that isn’t talked about enough, in my opinion. It has nothing to do with masculinity, yet men can feel “less than” when they find out the difficulty rests with them. I always recommend that a board certified reproductive endocrinologist first check a couple to make sure that all systems are firing. If male factor is an issue, get a recommendation for a well-reputed urologist and address it right away. Valuable time can be saved with the advice of those professionals equipped to solve simple to more complex situations.

I also recommend that a couple do partner yoga together to maintain the emotional intimacy in the relationship as sometimes conflicts can be avoided if there are issues of shame, anger, disappointment or frustration between the couple. This helps them cope with the stress infertility can cause and keeps them in a positive state of togetherness.

Naomi: Couples dealing with infertility hate hearing the advice “Just relax and it will happen” (because they do relax and guess what? It doesn’t happen!). What is your best advice to help women cope with unwanted pregnancy advice?

Brenda: “Just Relax! It will happen!” I’m sure everyone has heard the story of the countless couples that have adopted after years of trying only to get pregnant naturally right away. . .

The key is to simply understand that people giving advice generally are uncomfortable with your suffering and want to fix it. I have found that, as infuriating as the advice is, if you can hear what they are truly saying, it’s ”I love you and I just want to help.” It allows you to simply say “thank you”, smile, and let them feel good about themselves.

Resistance is futile because it only stresses you out more.

If you must say anything, you can say, “I so appreciate your concern, I’m sure you can imagine how difficult this is for us, and we just need to listen to our doctors.” That usually works to stop them from going further and yet invites them to be compassionate.

Naomi: What is your advice to women struggling with infertility issues and who feel very alone in their journey to motherhood?

Brenda: This can be an extremely lonely path if you choose to isolate yourself. It can be deeply transformational if you can find other women and couples who are going through this to share and learn from. The only cautionary tale is not to get wrapped up in the drama, focus on the positive and uplift each other along the way. Join a support group, learn coping tools, meditation, yoga, nutrition, green your environment, etc. But beware of the the group focused on simply unloading sorrows; this can be detrimental in the ability to sustain the journey. There needs to be safety to release, but also support to sustain and grow through the process.

Naomi: Has infertility made you look differently at your life?

Brenda: I love these questions! They are so insightful.

Yes. Infertility has colored my view of life. I tend to be more grateful for life in a way that I didn’t before infertility. I have more compassion for others, and I am grateful every day for the ability to share my life with my family, not as a birthright, but as a privilege.

Naomi: Does secondary infertility leave you feeling over-protective of your child?

Brenda: I can’t believe someone knew to ask this! I recently had a conversation with my husband and teenage son about skydiving. It scares the “bajesus” out of me to think of my son taking unneeded risks! Losing him would be unfathomable. I don’t know if I could go on if anything ever happened to him. My knee jerk response is to try to protect him at every turn and keep him from danger. And then, the yogi part of me kicks in and says, “All there is, is now, enjoy, relax and know that this body is not who we are. This is his life and you can’t protect him from it.”

I guess, it all boils down to trusting that everything in life, and I mean EVERYTHING, is for us. I just have to trust that I have done the best I can to prepare him for life and to know that he has free will and will have his own lessons to learn.

So yes, I am more protective, but I try not to be.

Naomi: What's the one thing you wish people knew about infertility?

Brenda: What I wish people knew about infertility is that it’s on the rise! Infertility can happen to anyone, but it’s not the end of the world, rather the beginning of a journey. There are such wonderful scientific treatments now, both natural and medical, and if you seek out people to support you, it can actually be the beginning of an amazing adventure.

Naomi: Thank you, Brenda for your fantastic advice and your work in the fertility community. It will most definitely help other women and couples feel less alone in their own fertility journey.

a blog by Infertile Naomi, June 8, 2010

The television reality show, The Bachelorette, is back! Here comes hair-blowing-in-the-wind, girl-next-door, Ali Fedotowsky, who is looking for love and marriage amongst 25 eligible bachelors. She will go on extravagant dates and fall madly in love with most bachelors, before making her final choice in that nail-biting, oh-so-dramatic final rose ceremony.

In the first episode, we see Bachelorette Ali talking to her potential suitors, telling them she wants marriage, pregnancy and lots of babies. We can pretty much guess that Ali and her boys are definitely not thinking about infertility during their first meeting. But infertility can be a huge issue in a relationship. Just ask previous Bachelorette, Trista Stutter, who struggled with infertility issues with her bachelor husband, Ryan. Luckily, they now have two little children but I bet she never talked about infertility during her hot air balloon dates!

Ali, not to put a damper on your baby hopes and dreams but here’s what you should probably inquire about when meeting your men . . .

1) Do you love hot tub? (Sorry dudes, hot tubs and excessive heat could lower your sperm count). Maybe the Bachelors could have their steamy love scenes in a luke warm pool instead.

2) Have you ever had your sperm motility checked out and are you willing to take a semen analysis before the rose ceremony?

3) Do you wear boxers or briefs? Don’t give a rose to anyone wearing briefs and tighty whities as this type of underwear could lower his count.

4) Have you been injured in the groin area or had a vasectomy?

5) How do you feel about fertility treatments and are you willing to give me a needle in my behind?

6) Say goodbye to any guy who smokes or drinks excessively during your dates.

7) Instead of roses, you should hand out of bottles of multivitamins or Vitamin C instead. Maybe some zinc.

8) Do you like to cycle? Excessive biking creates a higher chance of male infertility.

9) Do you have children already and how long did it take you to conceive? If he already has a kid, give him a rose.

10) Are you willing to start trying to conceive on our wedding night?

ABC should probably consider changing the name of the show to, "The Bachelorette, Fertility Factor."

Just a thought.

a blog by Infertile Naomi, May 26, 2010

From bitter custody battles to the infamous balloon boy fiasco, these dads won’t be receiving the "Father of the Year" award for exceptional parenting this year:

From Macaroni to Murder

Former host of the Food Network television show, Calorie Commando, chef Juan-Carlos Cruz has been charged with allegedly attempting to murder his wife. The reason? Infertility. After years of depression due to infertility, Cruz allegedly arranged a murder-suicide pact with his wife, Jennifer, to end her life.

According to reports, Cruz allegedly hired two homeless men to help kill his wife because he couldn’t stand seeing her in such emotional pain from their infertility issues.

It’s kind of sad, really, that Cruz didn’t end up procreating because it seems like he would have been such an emotionally stable and doting father.

Balloon Boy Daddy

We all remember Richard Heene, the father who fooled the media by claiming his six year old son was trapped in a hot air balloon. Turns out the now infamous balloon boy was at home hiding while his parents were seeking fame and fortune. Balloon boy daddy and mommy got into big trouble for their lack of parenting skills; and their son is probably wondering if he’ll ever live down that nickname.

I'm sure that's the least of his problems with parents like that.

Bad Hollywood Dad

Newly single mom Sandra Bullock won’t be giving any ‘Father of the Year’ awards to her cheatin' spouse, Jesse James. After four years of trying to adopt a baby, Sandra and Jesse finally welcomed baby Louis into their lives. You know what else they welcomed into their lives? Jesse James and his string of mistresses.

Bad daddy. Go to your room….alone.

Jon Gosselin Plus 8

Father of eight Jon Gosselin didn’t come across that well this year. The former John and Kate Plus 8 star had a bitter separation, public fights in front of his children and a few ladies on the side.

He would have gone on Dancing with the Stars as well, but he seemed to be getting jiggy with it with some of his girlfriends already.

In reality, he's a bad dad.

German Man Marries his Dying Cat

Congratulations to Uwe Mitzscherlich and his feline bride, Cecilia, on their recent marriage. No joke. This German man decided to marry his 15 year old cat in an unusual, illegal ceremony. The bride looked breath-taking in her white dress and had her hair specially combed for the occasion. When asked if they wanted kids, the feline bride responded “He would make a purr-fect father.”

We're hoping Cecilia the cat asks for a divorce should they “talk” about adoption.

Ya gotta ask yourself "Why do these baffoons get to be parents when we (perfect in every way) have to jump through hoops?" Pretty ironic, no?

a blog by Infertile Naomi, May 13, 2010

This just in…

Angelina and Brad’s pet goldfish might be pregnant; Tom and Katie’s turtle could be expecting; and Paris Hilton’s beloved dog, Tinkerbell, might be having little puppies…

…and I am jealous.

There is a big secret within the infertility community that we don’t openly share. Our secret? We are absolutely jealous of anyone and anything (including four legged friends) that can get pregnant.

You may see us grin excitedly as someone announces their pregnancy but look at us a little closer . . . . Those aren’t tears of happiness, you know.

We keep this a secret because we feel such guilt for even remotely feeling envious of our best friend, sibling, cousin or a complete pregnant stranger on the street. We're jealous of Octomom; Michelle Duggar who's had 19 babies and counting; Kate and her eight. And we plan to be jealous of Celine Dion once she gets pregnant from IVF.

The infertility community does not discriminate. We are jealous of all fertile women equally, even those who got pregnant using fertility drugs. It’s a little easier, but still envious none the less.

Please don’t think we’re terrible people because we feel awful about it (we’ll deny our envy until we’re blue in the face). “I’m pregnant!,” a friend will gleefully announce and we will give her the customary excited response like, “How are you feeling?” and “You look so fantastic. OMG, You’re not even showing!”

And we are truly happy for them but deep down in our secret inner hiding place, we are still very envious.

In a recent celebrity article, I’ll admit I was jealous to read that a Reality TV star’s dog was expecting puppies. “We are so excited,” the article read. “Our little Doggie is becoming a mama!”

I’m also embarrassed to admit this wasn’t my first jealous-of-a-pregnant- animal moment. There was the jealous pregnant feline moment at the zoo in 2008 and the “how can that cat have babies and I can’t” moment of 2009.

Don’t even get me started on Full House’s newly pregnant Jodie Sweetin. I think it’s beautiful that she's welcoming baby number two but isn’t Little Stephanie Tanner still 12 years old? “How rude!”

Now if one of the Olsen twins announces a pregnancy, I may just have to hide in my infertile cave for awhile. I just hope they don’t give their signature thumbs up and say “You got it, dude!”

a blog by Infertile Naomi, May 6, 2010

It’s almost Mother’s Day and those celebrity mothers are getting ready to celebrate. Newly single mom, Sandra Bullock, will probably be spending time with adopted son Louis. The Brad and Angelina bunch could be getting together for brunch in Venice. And an unconfirmed rumor reports that Suri Cruise wants to make french toast for her parents (but she’s not allowed to turn on the stove).

For the rest of us living in infertile land, Mother’s Day can be a difficult time.

While those celebrity and non-celebrity mothers enjoy their special day, this day often becomes a painful reminder of your inability to become one. Maybe I’m not the infertile norm, but I actually enjoy Mother’s Day.

Since I was young, my sister and I would find different ways to surprise our mother. From the sloppy pancake breakfast in bed to the adult brunches and gifts, this day is always about remembering how lucky we are to have such a wonderful mom. This year is no different. This day has always been about and for her so I’m okay with Mother’s Day.

Anyways, Mother’s Day happens only once a year but Infertility Day is a daily “celebration” (just substitute the french toast breakfast with a big bottle of wine). That’s why it’s both surprising and wonderful that the new movie Mother and Child recognizes the infertile mamas during this time. Starring Naomi Watts, Annette Bening and Samuel L. Jackson, Mother and Child, follows the story of three women profoundly affected by infertility and adoption.

Karen (Bening) is haunted by the baby she gave up for adoption; Elizabeth (Watts) comes from an adopted family; and Lucy (Kerry Washington) experiences the plight of infertility when her and her husband fails to conceive.

I’ve only watched the movie trailer and have yet to see the entire film, but it doesn’t seem like your typical Hollywood “I got pregnant on my first try” storyline (don’t even get me started on Knocked Up). But surprisingly, the movie seems to actually recognize infertility instead of banishing it away like a taboo subject. Kudos to the film for casting a spotlight on the issue of infertility, especially during Mother’s Day. (Although I’m quite certain that come Father’s Day, a new comedy (probably starring Seth Rogen) about sperm count and an accidental pregnancy will let the subject of infertility get swept back into the infertile closet.)

As Mother’s Day approaches and my own mom is eating her homemade banana bread, I will be remembering how lucky I am to have her in my life.

I always believe that I am a mother, too, but my baby just isn’t here yet.

a blog by Infertile Naomi, April 27, 2010

Against my better judgment, I saw the new movie The Back-Up Plan starring Jennifer Lopez. It’s a story of a 30-something woman name Zoe who decides to get artificially inseminated after finding herself single and alone in New York City. And, of course, she meets the man of her dreams in a cab shortly after finding out she has conceived. As a woman struggling with infertility, I expected to dislike the movie given that JLo gets artificially inseminated and pregnant on her first attempt. I’ve been inseminated four times without even a hint of a pregnancy.

But I decided to see the movie only because I had received free movie passes. And so, with a box of tissues in hand and a moody expression on my face, I took my seat in the theater.

An usher soon came to the front of the stage and spoke into a microphone with a little too much excitement for those just wanting to watch a movie. “Everyone look at your ticket stub because we will be giving away a prize tonight. The prize will be a fabulous maternity gift bag!”

"Please don’t pick me. Please don’t pick my number," I thought to myself crouching lower in my seat. But, of course, as irony has it, she called my number. “Congratulations to the infertile woman sitting in seat number 2 Failed IVFs.”

Reluctantly, both myself and an older gentleman who had turned a shade of bright red, stood up and received our gift baskets of maternity clothing. Fortunately, he looked more awkward than I did as he graciously accepted his breastfeeding pump and nipple holders. We took our seats and waited for the movie to begin.

The Back-Up Plan was off to a super start already! [Sarcasm.]

But halfway through the movie, the dark scowl that had plastered my face soon melted into momentary smiles. Against my better judgment (and knowing that this movie received terrible reviews), I was actually sort of liking/not hating the movie.

When the character Zoe’s gets artificial inseminated, she thinks to herself, I should have shaved my legs and got a pedicure. After the procedure was over, she lifts her legs to help those sperm swim upstream. The fertile audience laughed while I and the rest of the infertile women nodded our head in agreement. (I always shave my legs before a fertility appointment even through I realized my doctor is looking in a much hairier and not so attractive area.)

In another scene, Zoe leaves the fertility clinic holding her legs together so the sperm won’t fall out which, as any infertile knows, that’s exactly what we do.

But as any movie dealing with fertility issues, the movie takes a turn to the unrealistic zone. It makes getting pregnant by a fertility doctor look so easy. If all you had to do was walk into a fertility clinic one time to get pregnant, I would be in my 24th trimester by now.

But of course, Zoe gets pregnant with twins, no less, after her first insemination. Go figure, she only gains five pounds by her third trimester and her fertility doctor multi-tasks as her delivery doctor as well. You'd think that Jennifer Lopez, mother of twins and rumored fertility patient, would bring a little more realism to her character.

The film ended. The lights came on and reality set back in. I was pleased that my box of tissues was still full and no emotional breakdowns had occurred.

I stood up and with my maternity gift bag in hand, I left the theater to drive home. When your life path remains uncertain, sometimes it just feels good to see a movie with a happy ending once in awhile . . .