This Just In: Tom and Katie’s Pet Turtle Might Be Expecting

a blog by Infertile Naomi, May 13, 2010

This just in…

Angelina and Brad’s pet goldfish might be pregnant; Tom and Katie’s turtle could be expecting; and Paris Hilton’s beloved dog, Tinkerbell, might be having little puppies…

…and I am jealous.

There is a big secret within the infertility community that we don’t openly share. Our secret? We are absolutely jealous of anyone and anything (including four legged friends) that can get pregnant.

You may see us grin excitedly as someone announces their pregnancy but look at us a little closer . . . . Those aren’t tears of happiness, you know.

We keep this a secret because we feel such guilt for even remotely feeling envious of our best friend, sibling, cousin or a complete pregnant stranger on the street. We're jealous of Octomom; Michelle Duggar who's had 19 babies and counting; Kate and her eight. And we plan to be jealous of Celine Dion once she gets pregnant from IVF.

The infertility community does not discriminate. We are jealous of all fertile women equally, even those who got pregnant using fertility drugs. It’s a little easier, but still envious none the less.

Please don’t think we’re terrible people because we feel awful about it (we’ll deny our envy until we’re blue in the face). “I’m pregnant!,” a friend will gleefully announce and we will give her the customary excited response like, “How are you feeling?” and “You look so fantastic. OMG, You’re not even showing!”

And we are truly happy for them but deep down in our secret inner hiding place, we are still very envious.

In a recent celebrity article, I’ll admit I was jealous to read that a Reality TV star’s dog was expecting puppies. “We are so excited,” the article read. “Our little Doggie is becoming a mama!”

I’m also embarrassed to admit this wasn’t my first jealous-of-a-pregnant- animal moment. There was the jealous pregnant feline moment at the zoo in 2008 and the “how can that cat have babies and I can’t” moment of 2009.

Don’t even get me started on Full House’s newly pregnant Jodie Sweetin. I think it’s beautiful that she's welcoming baby number two but isn’t Little Stephanie Tanner still 12 years old? “How rude!”

Now if one of the Olsen twins announces a pregnancy, I may just have to hide in my infertile cave for awhile. I just hope they don’t give their signature thumbs up and say “You got it, dude!”