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Of Course Mothers Matter — We Matter
Elizabeth Marquardt – I am calling you out. This is from one mother to another:
I read your latest article “Do Mothers Matter,” and I am left with a sort of “What the heck?” head scratching reaction to not only this article, but to you Elizabeth.
You seem to think that if you have a child any way other than “the old fashioned way” (heterosexual sexual relations) that your children are going to reject you, or in some way they are going to suffer. So that means all of us who have had children via in vitro fertilization and egg donation or sperm donation we are in some way harming our children.
You go on to say that in some way if you use an egg donor to create your family, or if you happen to need the services of a gestational carrier, that your child is going to grow up missing his or her “real mother.”
Really, all I could think was: What planet are you from Elizabeth?
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Interpreting SART IVF Success Rate Data
a blog by Traci Shahan, RN, WHNP-BC, Doctor of Nursing, Albrecht Women’s Care: A Center for Reproductive Endocrinology and Infertility, February 19, 2012
The Society for Assisted Reproductive Technology (SART) data for 2010 were posted online in early February. These data are submitted by fertility clinics yearly to SART. It is incumbent on each participating fertility clinic to submit accurate numbers representing the clinic’s assisted reproductive technology (ART) rates. I glanced at several fertility clinics’ data and was reminded that although sometimes helpful, it is important to interpret these numbers with the following reminders:
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Attacks on IVF? Personhood Bills and Other Legislation to Watch
Throughout the country, many states are dealing with legislation and initiatives that could have an effect on in vitro fertilization (IVF) and women's reproductive health and medicine.
When African American Women Should Break Up with Their OB/GYN
a blog by J. Kendall “Kenny” Smalls, February 15, 2012
It has been perceived that once an African American woman, and I guess most women, find a good OB/GYN, she is loyal to a fault at times. The amount of trust you place in your OB/GYN is sometimes more than the trust you place in your own spouse. You can be so accepting of what the OB/GYN says that it can actually be looked upon as blind trust. This relationship can begin in your teens and proceed throughout your reproductive years. The level of trust that is built up between the two of you is extremely important and will be used to build a comfort level between your body and the physician. This is fine if you are not looking to extend your family. However, if you are trying to build a family, and you are not getting the proper care you need, then it’s time to break up with your OB/GYN.
I’m quite sure you’ve broken up with people before and it’s pretty much the same thing, just not as messy. It goes a little like this, “I’m breaking up with you. It’s not you … it’s me." What you need is a fertility doctor, also known as a reproductive endocrinologist (RE). Perhaps your OB/GYN can actually refer you to a good one. If he/she cannot send you to a fertility doctor, then it is time to leave him/her. An RE specializes in fertility treatments and is perhaps better suited to help you through your journey towards family building.
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Give Yourself a Break Today
a blog by Barbara Blitzer, LCSW-C, M.Ed.
Have you ever been stressed about being stressed? Have you ever felt that you should be calmer, stronger, less upset? Have you ever tried to do mind-body or relaxation exercises only to create more stress by worrying that you weren’t doing them right?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, you are not alone. Many of the women I’ve worked with over the years have had this issue. They’ve blamed themselves for responding in the most natural way in the world. If you’re on a fertility journey, you’re on a rough road. You’re afraid of not being able to have something your heart cries for. It’s natural to feel the stress.
Fertility Data and Studies and Blah, Blah, Blah ...
a blog by Lori Shandle-Fox, February 14, 2012
As I was just saying over at my blog, you've probably already heard about this new study in Australia about infertile women.
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The Calling of Adoption
a blog by Melinda Davis, February 13, 2011
My husband and I began exploring adoption a few years ago. We had gone through fertility treatments, and had been told the only way we would become parents was through adoption. I remember being amazed at how my once closed mind to adoption had quickly opened, and I began to imagine an exciting journey to find our child.
We began looking into international adoption, and just as we thought we felt the Lord was leading us to a certain country He quickly closed the door. We didn’t meet the country’s age requirements, and it would be another year before we could even begin the application process. We decided to wait until we were of proper age, but when that time came, we found that the process had changed, and we no longer had the peace we once felt.
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Valentine's Day — Focus on the Love
Tuesday is Valentine's Day. This can be a nice holiday for couples experiencing infertility because the focus is on love and romance — not kids and babies. We talked to Phyllis Martin, M.Ed, a licensed professional counselor and host of The Fertility Forum, about how to change directions from fertility to fun in order to make the day more special..
"Valentine's is an opportunity to do a little something extra to remind those we love how much we love them," Martin says. "It is easy to take our loved ones for granted, and when a couple is dealing with infertility, it is also easy to focus on stress and what you don't have compared to what you do have."
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Thoughts on Spiritual Beliefs Affecting IVF
a blog by Traci Shahan, RN, WHNP-BC, Doctor of Nursing, Albrecht Women’s Care: A Center for Reproductive Endocrinology and Infertility, February 13, 2012
I begin this blog with misgivings.
I intended to write about my professional experience helping patients navigate what is often a challenging life passage, sometimes a nadir, for some even a pivotal life experience — fertility treatment. I have ruminated for years — actually since 1996 — about the underpinnings of how, if and when a patient’s spiritual beliefs may affect fertility treatment and outcome. In 1997, I set out to pen my final doctoral paper about how spirituality affects fertility rates. My study design was poor, so I bagged it, took the easy way out, then wrote a few boring pages about the efficacy of a highly vaunted gonadotropin, quite in vogue at the time, which has long ceased to be available on American soil. Until now, I never got around to writing about matters of the spirit and fertility, although not a professional day has passed that it hasn’t crossed my mind. I work in a field that would rather skirt the issue entirely. What finally caused me to write about this issue was a call from a teary IVF patient last week who confided in me that she did not think she was pious enough to conceive because a friend had told her that if she simply prayed more that her AMH would go up, her FSH down, and she would conceive on her own without need of medical intervention. To me, this remark falls directly into the rubric of using religion and matters of the spirit to inflict pain. (I did recommend that she re-evaluate this friendship.)
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Why Hast Thou Forsaken Us Former IF-Now-Parent-Blogger?
a blog by Alec, February 8, 2011
We hope for it, for ourselves and others. We pray for it, for ourselves and others. Survive IF. Have children. Start a family.
The thousands of bloggers occupying the infertility blogosphere also fight that fight, hope those hopes, and pray those prayers. We follow them through every agonizing setback.
Unfortunately, when some get to the other side, they become Parent bloggers and begin gushing about everything their kids do … conveniently forgetting their readers as they gush.
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Embryo Donation: A Possible Answer to Baby Prayers
a blog by Stephanie W. Moyers National Embryo Donation Center, February 7, 2012
No matter what path your infertility diagnosis has taken, the fear of not knowing the outcome continues to loom large. For some, in vitro fertilization (IVF) or other assisted reproduction technologies (ART) have been the answer to their “baby prayers.” But those treatments are neither ideal nor guaranteed to help every family. What is the next step, or is there even a next step? An emerging option for those desperately trying for a child is embryo donation — sometimes referred to as embryo adoption (ED/EA).
The causes of infertility are numerous and non-discriminating, with both male and/or female factors playing a part of what could be the issue. Modern science now provides some proven solutions that bypass the medical conditions that keep prospective parents from cultivating a pregnancy.
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For Love, Not Money
a blog by Traci Shahan, RN, WHNP-BC, Doctor of Nursing, Albrecht Women’s Care: A Center for Reproductive Endocrinology and Infertility, February 6, 2012
At the end of a recent workday, I called a patient who is undergoing in vitro fertilization (IVF). After I reviewed her fertility drugs with her, we began talking about life, its enigmatic unfoldings and enfoldings, the serendipities that lie amidst the mundane. She found the love of her life while learning to ski; I once found love at a gathering of cowboys — the one I grew to love was the only one who refused to ride the bull. She told me how much it meant to her husband and her that our practice had never given up despite, as I wrote about another patient in a recent blog, an AMH level that was low. (Another fertility clinic refused her IVF unless she used donor eggs because of low AMH. I will not go into what she said; but it’s a good thing there’s distance between her home and that practice.)
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Older Women Using Egg Donation Not at Greater Risk for Complications
There's good news for women over 50 who become pregnant with egg donation: They are not at an elevated risk for developing obstetrical complications when compared to their younger counterparts.
A new study by Columbia University Medical Center researchers and published in the February 2012 issue of the American Journal of Perinatology, concludes that while all women who use egg donation to become pregnant are at an elevated risk for obstetrical complications — particularly hypertensive disorders and cesarean section — women over age 50 have complication rates similar to younger egg donation recipients.
Your Thyroid — The New Normal
a blog by Serena H. Chen, M.D., IRMS Reproductive Medicine at Saint Barnabas, January 31, 2012
How do you know what is “normal”? In medicine, “normal” can be defined in many different ways. For many lab values, “normal” is defined by the general population. What values do most people have for this particular lab test? A common criteria is to see what value do 95 percent of people have for this particular lab value? If you are outside the 95th percentile, then your lab value is “abnormal.” But what population do you choose? What if a lot of people in your population are actually abnormal?
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The Orchestration of the Female Hormones
a blog by Traci Shahan, RN, WHNP-BC, Doctor of Nursing, Albrecht Women’s Care: A Center for Reproductive Endocrinology and Infertility, January 30, 2012
This afternoon as I finished reading about Celtic spiritual practices, I glanced up to see my daughter Taylor staring into a neatly labeled chart, which I recognized immediately (even without my corrective lenses) as that of an impeccably rendered human female menstrual cycle. One aggravating dynamic of seminary curriculum is that, unlike my prior stint in graduate school, divinity studies seldom have one right answer. To me, Ockham’s Razor does not provide the succor as does the constant Avogadro’s number. Having cut my academic teeth via the rigors of science, in which there is a correct answer, theology is a jot shy on right, wrong, hypothesis and null.
I miss the certitude of science, so I practically shot off the couch when she asked me to quiz her in preparation for a test about reproduction. A chart! Of fastidiously diagrammed female hormones — estrogen, progesterone, FSH, LH, the whole, happy gang, ebbing and flowing in sinuous curves, just as nature programmed!
Treating Uterine Fibroids
a blog by Beth Hartog, M.D., East Coast Infertility & IVF, January 26, 2012
Have you been diagnosed with uterine leiomyomas (fibroids)?
Besides causing annoying symptoms such as irregular bleeding and pelvic discomfort, fibroids may interfere with conception and pregnancy. If you are struggling with infertility and you also have been given the diagnosis of fibroids; the following information may help you navigate your treatment.
The Art of Deflection
a blog by Donor Diva, January 26, 2012
If you have been around the block in your fertility journey, then you are a pro at deflecting unwanted questions. Let me give you the bad news first … THESE QUESTIONS HAVEN’T STOPPED. Even though almost everyone knows of our story, it doesn’t stop the question: “When are you going to have second?”
While in the trenches of infertility, I assumed these questions would stop after our child was born. Now that Ant is almost 2, people are getting more serious about interrogating us on when we are having a second child. These questions can be answered several different ways:
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A New Outlook for a New Year
a blog by Melinda Davis, January 24, 2012
It may be hard to believe, but the first month of the New Year is almost over. So, how’s 2012 going so far? If it’s not going as you had hoped, now is a great time to start again. For the first time in probably six years, I have started a year by keeping an open mind, open heart and releasing all of my expectations. For the first time, I have not started the year with an internal countdown of when my family will expand going on in my mind. And for the first time, I finally feel I have some peace moving into a new year. Now, I’m not writing this to say I have all of the answers. Far from it. But my goal as always is to share my experiences in an effort to support those going through similar struggles. I’ve learned that when I put things into practice, and begin each day for what it is … a new day … then things all of a sudden don’t seem so overwhelming.
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Artificial Testicle and Other News in Male Infertility
It is estimated that male infertility is the cause of about one-third of fertility issues. But 2012 promises to be an exciting year for the study of male infertility.
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Forge Ahead with the Right Fertility Treatment for You
a blog by Traci Shahan, RN, WHNP-BC, Doctor of Nursing, Albrecht Women’s Care: A Center for Reproductive Endocrinology and Infertility, January 23, 2012
Snow fell in Denver last Saturday evening, not enough to make headlines to be sure, but enough to make me reconsider my Sunday morning trail run. I quickly exhausted my excuse list — too tired, too out of shape, too much snow, schoolwork to do, dogs to wash, children in need of time, a house populated with dust bunnies — then set out.
The early morning was sunny but cold. My breath hovered in fleeting tiny crystals, my feet padded and crunched the ground cover. After a half mile, I turned toward the hardest part of the run: a serpentine, ascendant trail blanketed in last night’s snow.
Uterine Polyps Diagnosis
a blog by Beth Hartog, M.D., East Coast Infertility & IVF, January 19, 2012
Have you been diagnosed with uterine polyps?
If you are navigating the infertility path and have been diagnosed with uterine polyps, here are some quick tidbits of information to help you understand this diagnosis.
The Dreaded HSG
a blog by Serena H. Chen, M.D., IRMS Reproductive Medicine at Saint Barnabas, January 18, 2012
HSG — the hysterosalpingogram. This is the infertility test that women dread the most.
Hystero means uterus, salpingo means fallopian tubes and gram means image. This is a test that allows us to see what is going on with your uterus and your tubes. Is your uterus normal? Does it have a funny shape? Are there any polyps or fibroids or scar tissue inside the uterine cavity that could increase your risk for miscarriage? Are your tubes open? If the tubes are blocked, the sperm and egg cannot get together.
The HSG is dreaded because it is a test that causes a lot of intense pelvic cramping. It is the most invasive test that most infertile women will undergo these days. The other tests are a pelvic exam and sonogram, and blood tests. Of course the guy might have a few blood tests, and then he has to masturbate into a cup to produce the sperm sample for analysis. The guys will complain bitterly about this, but they would never be able to tolerate the HSG.
Don't Let Infertility Suck the Life Out of Your Life
a blog by Lori Shandle-Fox, January 17, 2012
Did YOU survive the holidays?"
I truly believe everybody — especially infertile people —should all have the same New Year's Resolution: "Survive the Holidays."
So if you made it to January 2 without overdosing or being rushed to a hospital with alcohol poisoning, yippee! Let's all get out our pencils and cross that one off our lists. Look at us. We're only a few weeks into the year and have already triumphed at something.
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Your Fertility in 2012 and Beyond
a blog by Laurence A. Jacobs, M.D., Fertility Centers of Illinois, January 15, 2012
In my last blog, I referenced how life is not a dress rehearsal, and the time is now to take control of your health and fertility in 2012. Your fertility doctor will do all he or she can to help you have a successful pregnancy and birth, but you need to do your part. Empower yourself — take control.
Here are some helpful suggestions and comments.
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Elizabeth Banks: Her Tale of Infertility and Surrogacy
a blog by Infertile Naomi, January 16, 2012
I always wonder how actresses privately struggling with infertility can play a pregnant woman in a movie or television show. It seems like the more you have difficulties conceiving, the harder it is to be around pregnant women. I was thinking about this topic when I came across an article about actress Elizabeth Banks and her struggle with infertility.
According to the article in Lucky Magazine, Banks and her husband (Max Handelman), tried unsuccessfully to have a baby saying that “it was a womb issue … her embryos wouldn’t implant.” She later turned to surrogacy to conceive her child and became a mom to baby Felix this past year.
