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Infertility and Mother's Day Coping Strategies

Celebrating your own mom may work, but if not, take a day for yourself

Sunday, May 13, 2012 is — Mother’s Day. Unlike Valentine’s Day, which focuses on the couple, this commercialized day can be one of the hardest days for a woman coping with infertility.

“Mother’s Day can be a double whammy,” says Andrea Mechanick Braverman, Ph.D., a Pennsylvania health psychologist who specializes in infertility counseling. “Another anniversary of a year gone by without a baby — and a holiday that specifically excludes you.”

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Video: When and How Does Fertility Decline?

Dr. Eric Flisser, a New York fertility doctor with Reproductive Medicine Associates (RMA) of New York, explains how egg quality, egg quantity, and age affect a woman's fertility.

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0:00:00.000,0:00:05.000 (text on screen): Ask the Expert 0:00:05.000,0:00:07.000 Fertility Authority. Your Most Trusted Source 0:00:07.000,0:00:12.000 When and how does fertility decline? 0:00:12.000,0:00:18.000 Eric Flisser, M.D., Reproductive Medicine Associates of New York: So, it's a difficult reality that human reproduction is limited. 0:00:18.000,0:00:25.000 And, primarily, it's limited because the number of eggs that a woman has is a finite resource. 0:00:25.000,0:00:30.000 And even since before she was born, a woman is losing her eggs. 0:00:30.000,0:00:33.000 At the peak, a woman has about five to six million eggs. 0:00:33.000,0:00:37.000 By the time she's born, there are about two to three million left. 0:00:37.000,0:00:42.000 And then by the time she reaches puberty, even before she's ovulated even a single egg, there are only about 500,000 left. 0:00:42.000,0:00:48.000 So, about 90 percent of all of the eggs that a woman starts with are gone by the time she reaches puberty. 0:00:48.000,0:00:54.000 And with only one exception that I can think of, there's really no way to stop that loss of eggs. 0:00:54.000,0:01:00.000 Whether a woman is pregnant or she's on the birth control pill, that process is basically unstoppable. 0:01:00.000,0:01:05.000 And as the number of eggs dwindles, the quality of those eggs gets worse as well. 0:01:05.000,0:01:10.000 So, not only are there fewer remaining, but they don't work as well as they had when a woman was younger. 0:01:10.000,0:01:17.000 And that is, primarily, the major obstacle to fertility when there are no other medical problems. 0:01:17.000,0:01:22.000 Female fertility certainly reaches its peak somewhere in the, probably, late teens and twenties, 0:01:22.000,0:01:30.000 and then begins to take a significant decline in the mid-30s, and certainly by 37, 38 an even more significant decline. 0:01:30.000,0:01:36.000 And it's basically impossible for us to predict who will get pregnant or when they will get pregnant. 0:01:36.000,0:01:43.000 We can only observe the population at large and see that as women get older, fewer and fewer are getting pregnant at any given time. 0:01:43.000,0:01:51.000 If, after 12 months of trying, in a woman who's younger than 35, or after six months of trying in a woman who's over 35, 0:01:51.000,0:01:58.000 conception has not occurred, that would be an appropriate time to see a reproductive endocrinologist for a full fertility evaluation. 0:01:58.000,0:02:02.000 (text on screen): Ask the Expert 0:02:02.000,0:02:03.000 Fertility Authority. Your Most Trusted Source

Video: What Lifestyle Factors Affect Fertility?

According to Dr. David Keefe, a New York fertility doctor at NYU Fertility Center, there are a number of lifestyle factors that affect fertility and egg quality including smoking, weight, certain drugs and genetic problems

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0:00:00.000,0:00:05.000 (text on screen): Ask the Expert 0:00:05.000,0:00:07.000 Fertility Authority. Your Most Trusted Source 0:00:07.000,0:00:12.000 What lifestyle factors affect fertility? 0:00:12.000,0:00:18.000 David L. Keefe, M.D., NYU Fertility Center: While we don't completely understand all the factors that determine egg quality, 0:00:18.000,0:00:25.000 there are a number of lifestyle factors that are known to be associated with poor egg quality. 0:00:25.000,0:00:32.000 For example, women that smoke, particularly women that smoke early on in their lives, continue to smoke, and smoke heavily 0:00:32.000,0:00:35.000 have lower egg quality. 0:00:35.000,0:00:37.000 They tend to go through menopause a little earlier. 0:00:37.000,0:00:43.000 They have lower fertility when they go through any given treatment than women who didn't smoke. 0:00:43.000,0:00:47.000 There are some genetic conditions that cause early deterioration of eggs. 0:00:47.000,0:00:59.000 Women that are carriers of a premutation in the Fragile X mutation are predisposed to early menopause and disrupted egg quality. 0:00:59.000,0:01:08.000 Some women who are too overweight or too underweight may have subtle abnormalities in egg quality. 0:01:08.000,0:01:13.000 So, the secret to maintaining healthy egg quality is to avoid smoking. 0:01:13.000,0:01:19.000 Whenever possible, avoid drugs that can disrupt egg quality. 0:01:19.000,0:01:26.000 And, of course, if you carry genetic problems, have those tested before you attempt to conceive, 0:01:26.000,0:01:32.000 such as Fragile X or other genetic problems that are predisposed to early menopause. 0:01:32.000,0:01:36.000 (text on screen): Ask the Expert 0:01:36.000,0:01:37.000 Fertility Authority. Your Most Trusted Source
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Endometriosis and Infertility

Source: Center for Human Reproduction
New York fertility doctor Norbert Gleicher, founder of the Center for Human Reproduction, explains what endometriosis is, symptoms of endometriosis, and how it affects fertility, is diagnosed and treated.

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Video — Ask the Expert: How Does Age Impact Fertility?

New York fertility doctor John Zhang, Founder and Director of New Hope Fertility Center in New York, discusses the relationship between age and fertility. After the age of 35, a woman's fertility declines each year. At the age of 40, your chance of getting pregnant is approximately 20 percent with the most aggressive fertility treatment protocol.

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New York Fertility Clinic Success Rates

Live IVF birth rates for the New York metropolitan area

There are many fertility clinic options in New York city and surrounding boroughs. Choosing one may seem rather difficult.

One way to begin comparing the fertility clinics is to look at their success rates. Fertility clinic success rates for New York City fertility clinics, as well as for clinics across the United States, can be found in the Assisted Reproductive Technology (ART) Report.

The ART Report, which is compiled by the CDC, lists success rates for every fertility clinic in the United States for IVF procedures using fresh and frozen non-donor eggs, and fresh and frozen donor eggs. The success rates for non-donor egg IVF cycles are broken out by age group.

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New York Fertility Clinic Donor Egg Success Rates

Live birth rates for egg donation in the NYC area

The following data, from the most recent Assisted Reproductive Technology Report published by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), detail the number of donor egg IVF cycles and the number of live births at New York City area fertility clinics.

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New York Fertility Doctor, Fertility Clinic: How to Find One

Now that you have been trying to get pregnant for a year or more (if you are under 35) or six months or more (if you are over 35), you know it is time to explore your options with a New York fertility doctor or New York fertility clinic. You probably have friends who have seen a fertility doctor for in vitro fertilization (IVF), so you first inclination is to ask them or your gynecologist for a referral.

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