a blog by Traci Shahan, RN, WHNP-BC, Doctor of Nursing, Albrecht Women’s Care: A Center for Reproductive Endocrinology and Infertility, December 20, 2011
When the FertilityAuthority editor-in-chief asked me to pen another blog, I asked her for suggestions, few of which this blog will address, not because I don’t respect Jennifer —I laud her —but because I have been wrestling with a universally human experience, that of grief. My hope is that this entry will at least make one reader’s load a little lighter.
First off, this is the time of year that one of my sets of twins died in utero. There are no words that can describe the hell of losing a baby. especially two at the same time. Nursery decorated, names chosen, OB chosen, and new “mom vehicle” all check. I guess the only way to place this loss in perspective is this: When we got home from the hospital, my husband fell to his knees and wept. We have been married 23 years and that is the only time I have seen him cry. It’s random, this grief. For instance what always reminds me of when they died, which was in November, is the pink-orange clouds that are common this time of year. Sometimes driving to work, I sob, other times, I say a prayer. Starbucks cranberry bliss bars take the edge off at least for an hour or so.
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