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Secondary Infertility
Feb 5, 2009
Secondary Infertility
Because you have had a baby, it’s probably bewildering that you’re having difficulty conceiving this time. The fact is, secondary infertility is on the rise. Your doctor may say, “Give it time, it worked before.” However, as women reach their mid- to late-30s fertility begins to decline rapidly; waiting can further complicate the issue.
You may be reluctant to talk about your wish for another child because you don’t want to seem greedy. There’s much less sympathy for women with secondary infertility than there is for those who have never been able to conceive! There are some other unique challenges as well:
- You are caught between two words: the infertility treatment world and the parenting world
- Taking your child with you to medical appointments or having to get babysitters on a regular basis is challenging
- You and your partner may disagree about having another child
- The financial strain of treatment may be a concern when you are currently parenting
- The pressure from your child to have a brother or sister can be painful
- If you are from a big family, you may be sad at the prospect of having a small family
- Infertility treatment can impact your children; they may worry about your frequent trips to the doctor or see you injecting fertility medications. Likewise, your emotional ups and downs can have an impact on your child.
If treatment is unsuccessful, deciding what to do next is challenging. You have to face the following questions:
- If you adopt, what would it be like to have a blended family?
- If you use donor egg or sperm will you share that information with all your children?
- What would it be like to have an only child?
If you have secondary infertility, recognize the unique challenges and take time to think them through. With support and information you can work through this.
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i have a two year old little boy and i had him through ivf, the clinic i used told me i had what was considered secondry infertility. I would love to have a second child but it hasnt happened naturally and now i am faced with the prospect of having to go through ivf again or to just be satisfied to have my precious little boy. i have always dreamed of a large family i was an only child so i really dont want to have my son grow up an only child as well. the cost of ivf has increased dramatically in ireland. could anyone send me any advice on this matter as i would be eternally grateful.
I am still trying for baby #1 but no doubt I will be doing secondary (and tertiary, if I get that lucky). I am doing IVF now and will go immediately to IVF for number two.
I have a five year old. It is very frustrating because for the past year and half I had stop taking birth control and hoping that I will get pregnant but to no avail. I do not know if I am suffering from secondary infertility since I never did any test to that effect.
I am a victim of secondary infertility. I would like to strongly suggest one thing primarily to anyone out there interested in having there first or even second or third child.... if you cannot get pregnant then please do not hesitate to got to the doctor.
I have a beautiful 11 year old daughter she is my little egg that could!!! No drugs over,11 years ago, unexpectedly I ended up pregnanat with her for the grace of god! Now I am not a big religious fanatic but I do thank goodness or what ever is there, because I do believe there is some thing there for bringing her into my life.
In the interim I had many losses 6 to be exact blighted ovums, D&C's miscarriages, yadda yadda. I finally took myself to an infertility specialist because my OB GYN could NOT help me at all. Even though she/he tried.
Finally 7 years ago I get the diagnosis which is horrible because I have the double whammy.....PCOS and the cherry on the sundae.....a balanced translocationof my chromosomes. It has been a long journey to get to where I am at now.
The first clinic that I went to was un helpful adn not informative at all I felt like a number and to think they were callign themselves the best in Boston....UGH. The secodn clinic I went to was beautiful but after 3 failed IVF cycles one with PGD (which why they allowed me to go through with it knowing what I know now... makes no sense what so ever and I am very mad about that). The third clinic has been terrific and te doctor is GREAT I now need to go for my second IVF with them my fifth treatment all together ....my 3rd with PGD.
I live in a world surrounded by fertile woman havign babies at will. And all I have ever wanted was children and it is the thign I cannot give my husband. We love our dughter dearly and she loves us , she wants a sibling too.
3 months after my husband and I got married we easily got pregnant with our beatuiful son. He will be 9 in three days. When he was one year old we started trying again. it of course was suppose to be easy right!? Well apparently not. We can't afford to do any treatments and we have only done a few tests. With no apparent reason as to why we can't get pregnant. I am now almost 38 with no hope. My heart aches everyday and Breaks on the days my son tells me he wishes he had a sibling. I am so thankful for the one child I was able to have but I SO yearn for more. Being a mom is what I was suppose to do. why can't I do it to the fullest?
I was diagnosed w/multiple factor secondary infertility in Oct. 2009, 8 mos. after trying unsuccessfully to conceive a 2nd baby starting in Jan. 09. My 1st child...a son...was born in June of 07. He was conceived naturally w/barely a thought. I was 31 when I got pregnant w/him & 32 when he was born, after a fairly easy pregnancy. However, 2 mos. before he was born we found out my husband, a military officer, had orders to S.E. Asia & we were to be transferred there in Sept. 07. I was shocked & not happy about it, as it came out of nowhere, & added a lot of stress to my pregnancy & postpartum period. We moved overseas in Sept. 07 & since we were only going to be there 14 mos., I decided I'd wait until after we returned to the States to attempt another pregnancy as we didn't have access to a US military hospital where we were & it would've been a huge hassle logistic's wise. We returned to the US for good in Nov. 08 & moved to the state of NM in Jan. 09. Immediately, we started trying for baby no. 2. It was the classic case of "oh the 1st one happened so effortlessly...2nd one should be a breeze!" Little did I know, how wrong I would turn out to be...& I had just turned 34. Finally, in Sept. 09 I realized something wasn't right. I also noticed my cycle's were coming every 21-23 days & they were out of control heavy! By Oct. I met w/an RE who ordered a battery of labwork, two scans, & labwork on my husband. My husband's SA came back w/a sperm morphology issue, I had a right blocked f. tube (dom.ovary), & the icing on the cake...I had autoimmune thyroiditis. Between all of this, the best overall chance for getting pregnant he gave us was if we did IVF. We successfully completed our 1st round of IVF in Jan. 10 w/one of two embryo transfer's implanting.
6 wks. later I miscarried due to the embryo failing to develop. We plan on our 2nd attempt in July...we'll see what happens! Now I find myself inundated w/friends & family getting pregnant & giving birth to 2nd & 3rd children, innocent but invasive questions of "so when is baby no. 2,"
& the proverbial insensitive "well at least you have one." Which btw, makes it worse b/c you really know what you're missing. Not to mention having to live w/the lingering threat of my ovaries failing on me at any given moment as a woman w/thyroid disease. It's been a real emotional roller coaster. I hope that the field of women's health starts making fertility screening standard during yearly exams. Never was I counseled or warned in my 20's that as someone who suffered from dysmennorhea & irregular periods that I could be at risk for fertility problems. Wish the best for everyone out there faced w/this struggle!
My husband and I have a 7 year old have have been trying to have another baby for 4 years now. We had our daughter with no problems, but now we are on clomid and medforim for the last 2 months now. I feel if i can have one i can have another. so far nothing!!!!
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