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Private Adoptions

In private (independent) adoptions, an individual or couple adopts directly from the biological mother (or biological parents if paternity has been established). One advantage is that private adoptions can reduce adoption red tape but they are generally more costly than agency adoptions. Like agency adoptions, private domestic and international adoptions are governed by the laws in both the baby’s birth state/country and the adoptive parent’s home state/country. Gays and straights can use the private adoption route.

Getting Started

Generally, private adoptions are facilitated by an attorney and sometimes a private adoption consultant who may:

  • Identify a biological mother seeking to relinquish her baby,
  • Arrange and mediate contact between both parties, thus setting boundaries, maintaining clear communication, and reducing possible pressure from both parties, and
  • Lay out the legal steps and assist both parties complete them.

Some states prohibit attorneys from "finding" or "matching" parents and are limited to the legal procedures after matches are made.

Some prospective parents seek out birthmothers independently by casting a wide net across their networks, and placing ads in newspapers and the Internet. Some adoptive parents pay thousands of dollars in advertising. Once a birthmother is located, an adoption attorney should be brought in immediately to facilitate the legal process. In fact, you should line up and consult with an adoption attorney before you identify a biological mother.

Important Details

Adoptive parents generally pay a biological mother’s medical expenses and certain pregnancy, insurance, legal, and living costs, but can not pay the biological mother to relinquish her child. The courts consider this child trafficking — a crime in the U.S. and most nations.

In domestic private adoptions, attorneys should be familiar with adoption laws and procedures in the adoptive parents’ home state and the child’s birth state. In international private adoptions, domestic attorneys usually work with an attorney in the child’s birth country to ensure that all legal procedures are followed.

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Comments

My husband and I will be married this August for 20 years. We recently found out we could not have children of our own. I am an elementary school teacher and long for my own child to teach and watch him/her grow up. I am 39 and my husband is 40. Please contact me at missysunshine@hotmail.com

Hi Melissa, I just sent you an email. Look forward to hearing back, Jenna

Trina - I'm sorry to hear that you're struggling. Have you discussed your PCOS with your gynecologist? Have you seen a fertility specialist? There are other treatment options for women who have PCOS - you don't have to jump right to adoption. I recommend that you consult with a fertility specialist to determine a treatment plan so that you can hopefully conceive your own child. If you need help finding a specialist in your area you can email me directly at Julie@fertilityauthority.com

ive been trying to have kids sense i was 17 and im now 23 almost 24 and still no luck i have poc and a little on the chubby side so im thinking thats the problem..its exspensive to adopt i dont just have thousands of dollars laying around..but im willing to help with other things the birth mom needs like clothes,food,electric,gas, ect ..can someone help me please it has always been a dream to have kids and right now its not looking so good :(

Hi we are looking for a willing family to get our 4 months old baby girl for adoption. you get reach me at living_hope96706523@gmx.com

Am a well known adoption master, i do adopt children of any type and kind to any part of the world with the help of my lawyer and workers, we do adopt children with rightful adoption documents and our lawyer to stand your adoption ground no hidden charges visit our adoption email at dr.bravo101@gmail.com or call me on +2348115825576 for urgent response Thank you...

we are trying for a baby for the less 8 years. my husband cannot have children. please can you help us

Hi, I willl be 38 years old in a few weeks. I have a great deal of things going on right now. I have recently started a home healthcare business, and it will take about 2 years before I see any money. I amm not dating anyone, but I know marriage is in my future. Will it be too late to freeze my eggs at 39 or 40? I need to be able to save to freeze my eggs. Is 40 too old to freeze eggs? I know in the future I will find love and get married, I want to be able to have a child with my own eggs. Thanks.

The earlier you can freeze your eggs the better, and it would be helpful for you to have your ovarian reserve tested to know the quality and quantity of your eggs, and help you make some decisions. Our Patient Care Advocates can help you find an egg freezing doctor in your area. Please call toll-free at 855-955-2229 or email carecoordinator@fertilityauthority.com. I wish you all the best, Claire

I had my tubes tied 12 years ago now, I was very young and knew at that point in my life I didn't want another child with the man I was with. I have now since grown up I am 36 and for several years realized I do want another child. My husband and I have looked into adoption however they are so expensive and the money it costs takes away from the money you would have to help support the child. Is there any way to still naturally have a child? I do not know what kind of procedure was done when they tied my tubes. Desperately seeking a child. any help would be great.

If you had your tubes tied, the options for getting pregnant would be a tubal reversal or IVF. A fertility doctor can go over the options with you and help you determine the best treatment. If you need help finding a fertility doctor in your area, please contact our Patient Care advocates at 855-955-2229 or carecoordinator@fertilityauthority.com. Best, Claire

My daughter died 10 years ago, I have been raising my youngest grand daughter with him for 10 years. He has remarried and his new wife doesnt like my grandchild and she doesnt like her either, He has suggested that I adopt her . Being a family adoption would it be less expensive? Or should he just sign over perm. custody of her to me? Also if I do this and have adopted or have perm. custody of her if I die will she be able to get my SS? Thannk you

We are a couple , who have recently, wanted both to adopt a newborn baby. We are trying to find a , and couple or single mother, wishing to give baby for adoption. Iam not going to release any reasons on why we are wishing to adopt i feel that is between the persons giving baby for adoption, and the adopting parents. Iam from melbourne victoria my name is michelle my contact details are as follows.12 finchley st Glenroy Victoria Australia, 3046. 0481328686

I am 36 yrs old we have been married 10 yrs, I have had 2 misscarriages, but no live birth. All I can think about is giving my heart to another heart, and giving such wonderful love to a new life. Please email me at ilvtosk8@hotmail.com

Im 30 yrs of age & I have been unsuccessful of conceiving after 10 yrs. I am desperately looking to adopt an infant. Im self employed stable home, family, & life. Im still not giving up on having my own children but I would love to give an unplanned child a home. stillettodiva82@gmail.com

Im a lesbian me and my wife lives in macon ga looking to adopt a healthy new born baby girl and we want th know how can we go about doing so?

hi my name is don, my wife and i have been trying for 14 years to have a child, i just found out that i'm sterile and it's heartbreaking. My wife has been through fertilty testing for the last year and to watch her go through it hurts, so we started to look at adoption, but we r not rich, we long to have a child to love please help

can you please call me i am 19 yrs old and i am pregnant i want to find a couple to adopt my baby my phone is 828 736 0578

If you still looking for someone adopt your baby contact me at lucindahamm@yahoo.com

help, my husband and i have been trying to concieve for 13 years and we've had no luck. I'm 33 years old now and i'm feeling hopeless,we have so much love to share. Contact me at ministry.murphy@gmail.com thank you

I will be 36 years old this year. I have a 15 year old daughter who lives with her father. We have been divorced for 13 years now. My boyfriend of two years and I will soon be engaged. He and his sister were adopted in the early 70's. According to my physician, I may not be able to become pregnant due to the fibroid on my left overy and my polycystic ovarian syndrome. We are longing for a child. Someone please help us

Hi Jennifer, You may still be able to conceive with in vitro fertilization (IVF). Give us a call at 1-855-955-BABY (2229) and we will connect you to a fertility doctor in your area.

Kim

If you are interested in adopting, you should contact attorneys who do private adoption, agencies in your state (including foster-to-adopt agencies) and request their information packets. This will help you understand what the process is and what agency stipulations there are.

Good luck!
Claire

im19years old i have a 2yr old daughter n im wanting 2 give my love 2 another child...

Hi my name is Jessica Im 20 years old. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for two years. We are from illinois living in a stable home on the country sind of town wanting to adopt a child of any age. ive raised and babysat kids since i was 12 now im ready to be a mommy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

lotz of love Jesse

Are you still looking to adopt? This is my email awuraabenawills at yahoo com

I am looking to adopt a child. We live in NY. Please email me for further information. Thank you.

I would love to be able to adopt a child between ages birth to three I would give the child everything it could need and love

I would like to know how to adopt a child from 0-6 in age any sex and race... How do i do it fast and how much money is it?

I thought private adoption was not as expensive

Hello, My husband and i struggle have pregnant for long long time and no lucks. We knows adopt is very expensive but how it work? We would like have a baby also we both are deaf. email me thank you

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