First Person

by Melodie Shank, Consultant, Fertility SOURCE Companies, December 8, 2011

When you are in the thick of it, it often seems that nothing is simple when it comes to an egg donor cycle.

Most intended parents arrive at the door to egg donation after a grueling in vitro fertilization (IVF) cycle, or two, or three or … more. Somehow, after all of this, the strength, courage and money is found to try again with an egg donor.

After this voyage to the emotionally charged decision to work with an egg donor, then arrives what, for many, can be the most difficult part of the infertility journey: donor selection. The “Match.comminess” begins. Dizzying lists of available donors are perused, for weeks, often months in what many describe as a completely surreal experience. Then, she appears. Perhaps the same smile, the same almond-shaped eyes, the same love of animals, or the perfect combination of many things. Finally, things seem to be turning in your favor. Except for one small catch. You live in San Francisco, and your dream donor lives in Boston. But she is your egg donor, you just know it. Thus begins an added complication and expense to an already complicated and expensive endeavor.

by Pamela MacPhee, Author, Delivering Hope: The Extraordinary Journey of a Surrogate Mom, August 24, 2011

When attorney Theresa Erickson interviewed me for her surrogacy radio show, she seemed like a professional, so I was incredibly disillusioned when it was recently brought to light that she and two others had been operating what prosecutors call a “baby-selling ring” masquerading as surrogacy. Here's my two cents on this disaster.

When I set out to bring a baby into the world for my cousin and his wife so they could experience the joy of a family, the term “baby selling” never entered my mind. With their harvested eggs and sperm, an embryo was created, frozen in storage in hopeful anticipation. For months in preparation we discussed and evaluated the possibilities and risks that surrogacy presented, embarking together in mutual trust and understanding on a journey to bring their baby into the world, to begin their family. After a successful embryo transfer, we supported each other in a deep and meaningful relationship to navigate the sometimes trying emotional and physical challenges of sharing a pregnancy, and I delivered a healthy 7 pound girl to them in joyful triumph and relief. My time and efforts were recognized and appreciated, but nothing was “sold."

by Theresa Ferrara, California Case Manager, The Surrogacy SOURCE, July 28, 2011

When my wife asked me what I thought about having a baby for another couple who couldn’t have children on their own, I was reluctant at first. However, after hearing the stories of parents who were unable to have kids on their own, I became more open to surrogacy.

by Pamela MacPhee, Author, Delivering Hope: The Extraordinary Journey of a Surrogate Mom, June 9, 2011

I recently spoke on surrogacy at a family building conference to address the Intended Parents about the anxieties they may be facing when they are considering entering into a surrogacy journey. It takes courage to step into surrogacy, as it does any family building journey, and my hope in speaking and writing is to help make that journey easier and less anxious by sharing my personal experience.