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Day 3

Oct. 20, 2009

Q. In your book, you recommend couples approach decision making by using a “Choice Web,” taking a deductive approach to decision making (which takes some of the (immense) pressure off). Can you elaborate for our audience who may be struggling with making decisions about treatment? How does a Choice Web help?

    Using a Choice Web helps because it takes all the possibilities that you’re currently juggling inside your head and places them on paper so that you can look at them with your full attention and you can share them with another person. Sometimes, if you follow all the possibilities through their “what ifs,” it takes some of the fear of the unknown out of the situation as well.

Q. Patients are always telling us that doctors lack bedside manner. What level of care should you expect from your RE? When is it time to move on to a new doctor?

    I lucked out and had a great doctor. He would include us in decision-making when there were two good options and took the reins when a doctor needed to be in charge. He didn’t give in to our whims, but he understood we were stressed and upset and acted accordingly. He didn’t sugarcoat test results, but he also didn’t let me run directly to my worst fears (remember: I’m a worrier).

Now, does every doctor need to do that in order to be considered a “good” doctor? No, but respect should be flowing both ways between doctor and patient. The doctor should listen to the patient and include them as much as possible whether it’s explaining test results or giving them options. And patients need to be open with their doctors, follow instructions, and be forthcoming.

I think you should listen to your gut and ask yourself if you’re remaining with your doctor because it’s easier than switching, or if there is actual trust flowing in both directions. It’s hard to switch doctors or clinics, but sometimes it has to happen because personalities will not always mesh well with one another.

    Letting injectable medications get to room temperature before injecting. Icing your stomach with an ice cube right before the injection to numb it. Lying down for 10 minutes after inserting your Prometrium will help allow the peanut oil (the stuff that is dripping out on your pantiliner) to get absorbed along with the progesterone. It doesn’t make the drug more effective, but it keeps your panties neater.