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The Egg Donor Connection

egg donor connection.jpg

Shelli DiCioccio, Sr. Case Manager, Northeast Region, The Donor SOURCE, February 7, 2011

In order to set the stage for Part l of this story, I want to share a a bit of my personal background in order to describe my role working with both my donors and our intended parents.

I have struggled with my own infertility as well — with multiple intrauterine Inseminations (IUIs), many tears of frustration and often defeatist heartache, ultimately leading to two failed in vitro fertilizations (IVFs) and a final decision to stop the fight. I remember it only too well. I still have the residuals of the lost war, however. I am a survivor, and I have moved on. The taste has changed from bitter to bittersweet, with a loving husband and family, and two beautiful adopted nieces from China. What is meant to be is to be.

But now, egg donors have given life to a new beginning for people (like me) who now have more choices and a chance that I did not have.

Searching for the Right Egg Donor

My story is about an intended parent who are searching for the “right” donor for her family. Of course, it is so personal and my role is to help her in any way possible. The intended parent had a few donors of interest, and so I availed myself to the donors, as I do, finding and separating those who would be interested in traveling from those donors who weren’t.

As the responses came along, so did the Intended Parents questions of curiosity about the donor’s background. Finally, narrowing down a few characteristics, I felt in my heart that the perfect match was beginning to take hold.

Making the Connection

The intended parent was a mother who had lost her 6-year-old daughter a few years ago and was finally ready to start again. The pain was always there, but I felt that we could talk about it. We became confidants, and thus a relationship began to evolve. The egg donor who was finally agreed upon was one who also had a great loss. She was born, and her mother had died during delivery. Raised by her father and grandmother, she too was a survivor of a loss but moved on.

Relating to both intended parent and donor as the third party advisor was much more than that. The correspondence that I had coordinated by cutting and pasting e-mails of information that allowed for the intended parent and donor to have a relationship set the stage and a bond, which both of them seem to enjoy. There recognized connections that touched the core of what I think the entire essence of working in the field of third party reproduction is all about.

The human condition has not changed; it only found its way of surviving — a sort of Darwinism concept. As technology has designed the matchmakers of the 21st century, you have to say “We’ve come a long way (for baby).

Stay tuned for Part ll, as this match has only just begun!


Shelli DiCioccio, LCSW, Senior Case Manager for the Northeast Region, for The Donor SOURCE, has more than 25 years experience in the health care field with hospitals, clinics and as a consultant to a wide range of clients. Her clinical expertise working with an interdisciplinary team of health care professionals makes Shelli the right person to assist prospective donors and parents through the donation matching process. Shelli is anticipating a wonderful, personal experience in becoming part of the lives of families she meets.