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Hardship Happens


by Arika Avedano, Senior Case Manager for Northern California and Nevada, The Donor SOURCE, August 25, 2010

IVF, especially donor IVF, can be a long and difficult road. However, there is no denying that it boasts the most amazing payoff. There is nothing you will love more than the child (or children!) born into your home through the amazing dedication of your physician, clinic coordinators, case managers, egg donor and other cycle staff.

When IVF Plans Take a Detour

As an Intended Parent, it’s important to remain positive. You certainly know by now, life throws you curve balls, and IVF is certainly no exception to this rule. ANYTHING can happen, and it’s our job as your case manager to help you through it, good and bad.

While The Donor SOURCE does everything we can to prepare your donor for the cycle ahead, sometimes life happens, and she is unable to proceed forward with the cycle. Whether it is due to a change in her schedule or to failing a portion of the testing implemented by your physician, The Donor SOURCE is committed to finding you a new donor and continuing on the Pathway to Parenthood with you.

Note: Each physician has his or her own set of criteria that go beyond the industry standards. It’s important that you speak with your physician to understand his or her requirements and what testing your donor will undergo.

The Donor SOURCE’s goal is to get you to retrieval, but we understand that sometimes these unfortunate events can be too much to bear, and there comes a time to sit back and reevaluate the situation.

Take Some Time

If plans should detour off course, allow yourself a grieving period. This can range from a couple weeks to a few months.

At this stage of IVF treatment, there seems to be a sense of urgency, but we caution you to take the time to absorb the sadness and disappointment.This time is vital, as it will help clear your head and heart, thus enabling you to jump back into the process with your “A” game.

Sometimes the “A” game is jumping back in with both feet with a new donor, or perhaps it could even be time to step away from IVF treatments altogether. Whatever the next step is, The Donor SOURCE has rematch and refund policies in place to make the transition easier for all parties involved. Be certain to read your contract thoroughly and ask your case manager any questions you may have.

Somewhere, there is someone (or something) with a plan for us all. Whether you believe in God, fate, or that everything happens for a reason, holding onto this will help keep you centered. Oftentimes, proceeding forward with your backup plan (or even your backup, backup plan) ends up being the best path.

Remember, the best things in life are often the most difficult to ascertain.

Arika Avedano, The Donor SOURCE's Senior Case Manager for Northern California and Nevada, has worked extensively in both the medical and third-party reproductive fields. She has experience assisting ovum donors and intended parents in all capacities of the egg donation and surrogacy process. Arika's exceptional communication skills and commitment to professionalism guide our clients through the remarkable experience of egg donation with compassion and efficiency. Arika feels privileged to unite donors with intended parents and assist in the beautiful process of building a family.