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Love & Infertility #Fertchat Transcript


Love and Infertility

Thursday, Feb 13, 2014
7pm EST/4pm PST
Join FertilityAuthority with special Guest Kristen Magnacca answering your questions

Kristen Magnaccais author of the award-winning Love& Infertility: Survival Strategies for Balancing Infertility Marriage sand life. Kristen has served as a coach, motivational speaker and expert on the emotional aspects of infertility. Below is a transcript of the conversation on Love & Infertility with Kristen Magnacca responding to live questions on Twitter.

Q: FertilityAuthority: Our love life seems mechanical. How can we shift that?
A: Kristen Magnacca: Plan fun not procreation sex and keep the appointment for no matter what. Make that a priority.

Q: Fertility Authority: How do I try to stay positive& stop the negative thinking?
A:Kristien Magnacca: Fill yourself up as much as possible by… Say what your feel! Better out than in! I am feeling…"without judgment! Let the feeling out! Anyway that works for you. Then a mantra: "All is Well" shifts the energy form negative to positive.

Love and accept myself. When the negative thoughts come in over ride them with " I love& accept myself". It is like vitamin C for the soul! Create a practice of loving yourself. One nurturing item per day does it.

Mama foxtrot: I like to think staying positive helps my odds. My body reacts to negativity

Q: Kimberly Griffiths: How do I get him to understand how hard a BFN hits me? It isn't just "OK. Try again"?
A:Kristien Magnacca: BFN He's ready, your not ready to try again! Talk it out! Don't retreat; in a Non-confrontational manner; write to each other; Leave voicemail and share your feelings. No one can argue with feeling!

Within out family we use the feeling face chart on a white board to share how we feel! No one can argue with feelings!

Q: Mama foxtrot: I have one failed IVF countless failed clomid cycles and 3 failed IUI. love my doctor but hate having this be out of pocket.
A:Kristien Magnacca: Financial burden is so much. You have options. Education is key and advocacy.
Mama foxtrot: Yes it is. I bounced a check this month. In my entire life this has never happened. And there's nothing I can do.
Kristen Magnacca: You are what you think… it's thinking all the emotions without judgment… being a neutral witness to feelings!
It takes practice, watching the emotions rise up and then release& giving them voice

Q: FertilityAuthority: How do I connect to my family/friends when I don't feel like it?
A: Kristen Magnacca: If it is an event: Listen to within…10 years form now no one will remember if you went or didn't…. it's ok, really.

If it is a have to go event: Break the event or time down in doable bites. Like party food; appetizers are easily eaten when small and dainty. See your family/friend in little visits.

FertilityAuthority: Yikes. Dealing with #family & #friends & #infertility. Yikes. That’s a lot …

Q: Mama foxtrot: Any insight on traveling abroad for IVF?
A: Kristen Magnacca: Have a pre-planned escape route within your mind. Be cautious about your time & energy. Will this fill me up or delete me?

Q: FertilityAuthority:When should I try another RE (Reproductive endocrinologist) ? Or second opinion?
A: Kristen Magnacca: You have choices as to where you go and who you feel comfortable with.
Ask yourself, are my needs being met in this manner that is best for me?
If the answer is no! Talk to your RE first... It never hurts to have another set of eyes looking at your situation...

FertilityAuthority: Looking for a #fertility doctor or second opinion? our Patient Care Advocates can help.

Q: Mama foxtrot: What is the best way of handling the doc appointments she you have a full time job? I have told a few my story but they give me the stink eye.
A: Kristen Magnacca: You need an inner circle at work & home.

Make a list of who you will share what is happening. If you get the stink eye! let it roll off of you! (Brain trust). Brain trust follow up; It is healthier to share with trusted friends/family of a fertility buddy. Share please!

Q: Robin: I imagine finances can become a dividing force in a couple's decision whether to continue treatment. How do couples cope?
A: Kristen Magnacca: Game plan for Fertility! Including mind, body, soul, finances and relationship…

Finances! seek advice. I have had clients overwhelmed with debt. There are grants, advocates and help.
Valentine's Day tomorrow… think of this. This might be the last one before you increase your family! What do you have planned?
Valentine's Day… That will create a lasting memory. I know I only thought of the BABY!!! You need to sustain your partnership!

How about writing your love moment to each other! Include when you knew he/she was the 1 for you! How did it feel, look, sound! Create forever memories!

FertilityAuthority: Great #Valentine's Day advice.

Wrapping up #FertChat for tonight. Big thanks to @KristenMagnacca. Happy Valentine’s Day all!

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