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A Surrogate Father's Journey

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by Theresa Ferrara, Case Manager for Southern California, The Surrogacy SOURCE, July 30, 2010

All they wanted was a sibling for their son. They wanted him to have a friend so that he wouldn’t be alone. Unfortunately, the intended mother could no longer produce viable eggs so they used a donor to supply the eggs for their future child and the husband’s sperm. They tried almost everything, and then they found surrogacy.

Initially, I was hesitant to the idea of having my wife carry another family’s child. However, as the months moved forward, I realized the importance of what we were doing for this family. The first few months were busy. There were meetings and appointments to go to. We were moving toward one goal: to provide a child for a family who could no longer make a child on their own. I had no idea there was so much involved with surrogacy. I just supported my wife as best as I could through this journey.

It was wonderful to watch her stomach grow as the miracle inside grew into a baby. As I watched, I saw my wife caring for this baby. She was babysitting the child inside her. We talked to the baby as though we were friends of the family. Telling her, “Your Mommy and Daddy and big Brother can’t wait to see you.” We were taking care of this baby for an important time in the baby’s life. The beginning.

As the months moved on and my wife’s tummy grew, everyone was getting prepared for the baby’s arrival. The parents had chosen a name, picked colors for the bedroom, and mentally prepared themselves and their son. We were preparing to have a baby. Calling doctors and visiting hospitals. It was all for another family. Our journey was much different from that of the intended parents. Our family was complete, in need of only sharing the joy of having a well-rounded home.

When the time came, my wife was admitted to the hospital and hooked up to monitors and IVs and asked questions. It was all very surreal because it was coming to an end. It seemed to only have been the day before that we had discussed doing this. Now it was almost over. They started my wife on pitocin to begin the process of labor. Time seemed to have stopped at this point. Then in the middle of the night, the baby was ready. She came out in her own time, bringing to life a larger family. The family she had been destined for happily greeted her and embraced her in the early morning hours.

I was there to see the husband and wife holding their newborn baby. Laughing and crying tears of joy and relief. I got to hold her and say hello face to face for the first time. I told her she did a wonderful job growing and that her Mommy, Daddy and big Brother were very excited to take her home. Our journey was through and a family was complete thanks to a wonderful journey through surrogacy.


Theresa Ferrara, Case Manager for Southern California, brings a wealth of knowledge and first-hand experience to her position for The Surrogacy SOURCE. Having been a two-time Gestational Surrogate Mother herself, she served as a support group leader and mentor for other Gestational Surrogates going through the process with The Surrogacy SOURCE. Theresa’s sincerity and empathy shines through in her desire to guide Intended Parents and Surrogates through this wonderful journey. Theresa is passionate about working diligently to ensure all parties enjoy a smooth surrogacy process and delivery.