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Choosing a Doctor

a blog by Amy Klein, February 24, 2014

Sometimes it feels like there is too much information out there about fertility. Actually, about everything. As someone new to the fertility game, how do you decide where to begin?

I remember when we first started, I met with two different doctors about my situation. One doctor told me I was fine, to keep doing what I was doing, no need for medical intervention yet, the other said I should move to IVF right away. The thing is, I was trying to combine both their medical advice.

I was weighing their advice with a friend who’d been down the road a long time, and she told me, “You have to choose, Amy. You have to pick one person and go with him.”

I could see her point. They’d both proscribed different folic acid dosages for me (I had recently been diagnosed with MTFHR, a folic acid deficiency). And they had competing theories on a woman’s fertility.

The best advice I could give anyone starting out on this journey (aside from “Hurry!”) is to talk to a lot of women who have gone through this successfully, and go to their doctor. (Strangely, in some ways it’s like when I was a reporter interviewing people for stories: eventually everyone started saying the same thing, so I knew my research was done.) If you ask around, you’ll start getting the same recommendations. I did – both doctors I was talking to had come to me through three separate people.

And then I made the choice of my doctor. Did I make the right choice? Was there a right choice? I don’t know -- but I know I wasn’t driving myself crazy going back and forth between the two.

To quote my grandmother, using the old Yiddish phrase, Mit eyn tokhes ken men nit tantsn af tsvey khasenes: You can’t dance at two weddings with one behind.

So while I liked both doctors, I couldn’t keep seeing them both. I threw out the other guy’s prescriptions and put all my faith into my own doctor. Hopefully it was the right way to go.

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