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Infertility and Our Interpretations

A blog by Dania Sander, July 7, 2014

So we hear the word "infertility" and what do we think? What happens to women and men who are faced with infertility on the path to parenthood when they hear this word?

For me and many that I speak with, the word infertility brings to mind thoughts about being broken, not good enough and a whole list of emotions that are attached to it.

I remember the days after each failed IVF cycle and how the interpretations around the word became harder and heavier. When will it work or more or less when will my body work? So many of us tend to take infertility in a very personal way, shut down emotionally during the process, and at times feel lots of shame around the whole situation.

Today I want to offer a slight different way of looking at things, a way that might help us as we walk on the path to parenthood.

I believe that our interpretations determine how we look at life. Infertility to many of us is interpreted as a problem, or as lack of ability to deliver on our basic need to become a family. I agree infertility is a big struggle, but I want to offer another softer way to think about it that might ease the journey to parenthood.

As I look at all who struggle on the path to parenthood, I see strong people who are willing to go to any length, open to different possibilities, committed and showing up to a process that is very demanding, but doesn't promise much.

I offer that we start to think about the strength in infertility, the commitment in infertility, the willingness in infertility and start to think of ourselves as willing. No longer those who aren't yet parents, but those who are courageous, willing, committed and open!

Infertility is creating people, couples, parents to be that are strong people, committed people, willing and open people that can share and give these ways of showing up to life in many ways.

The path to parenthood with Infertility is a hard journey, there is no doubt about it, but hidden in it are gifts that can last a lifetime and can shift how we show up later in life when we face other challenges.

For those who struggle with infertility, one day being able to hold a baby and whisper in his/her ear how you didn't give up until they arrived will carry so much meaning. I offer this new way of looking at this path as it empowering who we are and helps us see this journey in a new light that might give us more peace and the knowing of who we are on this path.

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