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How Egg Donation Changed My Life
A blog by The Egg Asiancy, June 14, 2016
I’ll tell you what hermits realize. If you go off into a far, far forest and get very quiet, you’ll come to understand that you’re connected with everything.” – Alan Watts
How Egg Donation Changed My Life
I’d always wanted a career in research. After getting a master’s degree in health, I landed my first job in a research lab – and was well on the way to achieving my dreams. Then one day, I happened to see an ad for a fertility clinic, looking specifically for Asian egg donors.
The ad resonated instantly. My cousin had struggled with infertility for five years, and I’d watched how she’d battle to get her son. I remembered how she’d injected herself painstakingly with medications; how she’d tried everything from acupuncture to special diets – how she’d even taken out a second mortgage and cleared out all her savings. What was truly amazing was her refusal to give up hope. Even in the darker days, she always focused on the positive – the possibility that one day she would be a mother.
Helping Another Person
Looking back, it was unsurprising that the ad should appeal to me. I’d seen the joy on my cousin’s face when she’d finally got pregnant. I recollected when she’d first introduced me to her son – and the happiness she’d felt. It made me wonder; how would it feel to be the one who caused such joy?
Then I also asked myself the question – how would it feel if it was my baby? Could I really commit to taking daily injections for three weeks? The ad stated that there was compensation, which I’ll admit, was attractive. That money could come in really useful, and could help further my career. However, the money alone wasn’t incentive enough to persuade me to sign up. I needed time to review my feelings. After all, this was a big deal – a future baby who would be linked to me, even though I would have no hand in raising them.
I took some time to think it over. I asked friends. I read positive and negative stories from other egg donors. Then I put it out of my mind. Or at least, for a short period of time.
The ‘Lightbulb’ Moment
Egg donation didn’t cross my mind again until a while later – at my cousin’s son’s first birthday. I went along to the party and watched my cousin and her child together. All that joy, admiration and deep love – it was amazing to see. Quite simply, he was her dream – which had finally come true.
I made my decision then and there. I wanted to help make someone else’s dream a reality. I wanted to give someone that happiness. It was the least I could do. I’d also come to the decision that for me, giving my eggs was just a process of sharing genetic material – genetic material that would be shed on a monthly basis anyway. The resulting baby might have my freckles, or my nose shape; but it wouldn’t be my baby. It wouldn’t be mine to love and hold. That right would be for someone else – a person who had fought long and hard to be a parent.
Shortly after, I signed up for egg donation, and within just a few weeks, I was matched with a couple. I never met them, and didn’t know their names. However, I felt connected to them. I understood their desires, their dreams, and their deep hope. In some profound way, we human beings are all interconnected. Perhaps what I was giving them was already theirs to have.
I wanted to make these anonymous people a family. The testing began, followed by daily injections, appointments and finally, the actual egg donation procedure. Throughout, this unknown family was my motivation. In my mind, they remained a blur, but I had a strong vision of how they would feel when they found out they were pregnant – not to mention that magic moment when they finally got to hold their baby.
Eventually, I found out that the couple had conceived, and did have a baby. I was overjoyed; thrilled that I’d made it happen for them. In fact, I walked around all that day with a big silly grin on my face! I kept thinking of my cousin, and of her adoration for her son. Now, thanks to the small part I played, someone else would have that joy in their lives too.
I realized that actually, a single person can change the course of another person’s life forever. And I’m forever grateful to that anonymous family for giving me the meaning in my life.