a blog by Ellen Glazer, December 27, 2013
I have a lovely client who has had an incredibly difficult time becoming a mom. She gets pregnant easily but loses each pregnancy somewhere along the way. Her losses include early ones and late ones, an ectopic and a third trimester loss. I’ve heard many painful stories in my decades as an infertility counselor, but hers is among the most challenging. And so it makes me all the sadder to hear her say that one of the hardest parts of her experience is “seeing the mean side of myself.”
I know all too well that it is not a therapist or counselor’s role to talk someone out of their feelings. Still it Is hard to listen to this client, whom I’ll call Melissa, without chiming in and letting her know (loud and clear I’m afraid) that “mean” and negative thoughts are part of the infertility and pregnancy loss experience. One doesn’t have to be a “bad” person to wish that a friend’s pregnancy would simply disappear or to angry when an invitation to a baby shower arrives.