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Our Misconception

“Leave no stone unturned.” That is what you hear whenever you are passionately searching for something that is hard to find. We, Candace and Chris or C & C as we call ourselves, have been trying to start a family for more than 6 years and through the course of it have turned every stone over, several times by now. At this point, those stones we’ve turned over have been worn smooth from all of our fumbling around with them. After being at this fertility game for so long though, we have learned a lot and want to share what we have learned and experienced with the infertility community in the hopes that maybe the next person that stumbles into the rubble field of infertility doesn’t need to look under every rock, pebble, and grain of dust.

We started like any couple would; romance, cheap wine, and Barry White. When that didn’t work, we tried IUI … 6 times. Of course we didn’t talk about it though, this was a private matter and we were frankly ashamed of what we were having to do to have a child. When IUIs didn’t work, we went to IVF, blindly by the way. 3 IVF transfers later, a couple surgeries in for good measure, and we finally decided to share our misadventures with only our closest family and friends a year later we started our blog. With 2 additional IVF transfers under our belt, we were approached by MTV’s True Life documentary series to participate in an episode dedicated to infertility. We agreed to go for it and hoped they would be filming us during lucky IVF transfer #6. They filmed everything they could and did a great job at capturing our story and that of another couple in an episode titled, “I’m Desperate to Have a Baby.” We were ecstatic to be sharing our story to the world and hopefully bringing awareness to the IF community.

Spoiler alert: our 6th transfer didn’t take and we were left in the hopeless spiral of another failure. After a rapid regrouping we decided to plunge headfirst into adoption. We were nearly through the application process when someone came forward and volunteered to be a surrogate for us. Like we said, we have turned over every stone. So, now we are waiting for paperwork, funding, and insurance stars to align so we can have one last shot at having a biological child through a gestational carrier.

We write this blog together, so often you will read about the same topic from a his and hers perspective. Our posts will convey all of the hope, struggle, anxiety, irritation, disappointment, humor and determination that dealing with IF has brought out in us. We hope that by sharing our story you will find encouragement or at least other people that are fighting the same war as you.


a blog by The Infertile Editors: Chris and Candace, December 6, 2013

“Hey stud how about we make a baby today? Oh, and guess what I am not wearing any underwear” Lights dim, butterflies in your stomach start fluttering. This is the point where I stop you and inform you that this is not the steamy new next Fifty Shades of Grey book series. Turns out you are actually in stirrups at your 6th RE (Reproductive Endocrinologist AKA fertility doctor) appointment this week and you and your husband are awkwardly sitting in a room with about 2 nurses, 2 fellows, an RE, one Mr. Ultrasound wand and a partridge in a pear tree. The best part, all of this magic takes place in a sexy paper mini skirt. Not to be confused with the lacey thing that you got as an anniversary present and only wore once when you first started trying to conceive. To all the REs, OBs and crotch docs out there, pony up for some cloth gowns because I think all of us can agree that the paper mini is not flattering and is deemed by the fashion police as a major infraction, second only to the fanny pack.

a blog by The Infertile Editors: Chris and Candace, October 31, 2013

Let’s talk about October. Yes, it is spooky, terribly bad for your diet and can be very difficult if you are dealing with infertility. Personally, we loved (note the “ED”) Halloween. All things pumpkin come out! Pumpkin latte, pumpkin muffins, pumpkin cookies, pumpkin pie, pumpkin beer… Am I starting to sound like Bubba, from Forest Gump? You get the point. There is also candy and epic Halloween costume parties to attend to! Here is where it really becomes tough. Our door bell would ring on Halloween with proud parents of adorable babies adorned in one day blackmail worthy costumes. Every Fall we have watched those babies get older. With every festive costume change, they have also grown with the ever passing time. Want to know what hasn’t changed? Our situation. {Insert knife in heart and twist} So here is a bit’o infertility fun you can have all while surviving Halloween:

a blog by The Infertile Editors: Chris and Candace, October 8, 2013

What do you think of when hear the word ‘OCTOBER’. Perhaps pumpkins? Or how about being proactive and scheduling a will-be-needed dentist appointment after a wild yet spooky, candy binger? What most folks do not typically associate the month of October with is that it is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. It is shocking that there is not more news, advocacy, and avenues of support surrounded around this month since the statistics are quite staggering.

a blog by The Infertile Editors: Chris and Candace, September 17, 2013

We thought we were ready. We knew the address for the fertility clinic, our fertility doctor’s name, and what time to show up. That’s all you need right? You go in, show the doctor where it hurts, he writes a prescription and you are done, right? So, with this foolproof approach, we walked into our fertility clinic. Expecting the same experience we had at any doctor’s office before, we quickly realized we were way off. We were inundated with words we never heard before and medical procedures on parts of our bodies that we never knew we had. The doctor told us what their plan involving all sorts of probing and way too many sharp objects. Then there was the medication protocols discussion. We had a 0.5 second introduction on how to administer shots and, even though we practiced on a foam block, we weren’t ready to start stabbing each other. Then the financial aspects where you kiss your life savings and vacation budget goodbye. And this was just day 1!

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