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Infertility, Surrogacy and Adoptions: Oh My!

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My name is Jamie Pursley. This time last year I was begging my husband for the OK to start trying to conceive. I had no idea that a year later, we would be devising a plan for a baby via in vitro fertilization (IVF) using a surrogate.

I conceived in August of 2011 and found out I was pregnant on September 13, 2011. It was, by far, the happiest day of mine and my husband’s life. Standing on the foundation of our under-construction new home, I broke the news to him with what would be only the beginning to our new life together. Four months into my pregnancy, I experienced what all moms will agree is the most terrifying experience in life: losing your child. At 16 weeks and 3 days pregnant, my uterus ruptured due to a severely bicornuated uterine anomaly. I was unconscious, and doctors had only minutes to make the decision to remove my unborn son as well as my uterus (partial hysterectomy) to save my life.

So here I am, three months later, picking up the pieces and trying to keep my head up. This blog will follow our path to parenthood via IVF and the use of a surrogate — the ups, downs and everything in between. How to choose a fertility clinic, a fertility doctor and surrogate, as well as how to pay for services and what to expect throughout the process are some of the topics I will cover.

I’ve wanted children for as long as I can remember. I’ve molded my life around them, being a gymnastics teacher and finishing my degree to be an elementary school teacher. I’m thrilled that I have the chance to make a difference and help people actually bring those children into the world.

Please visit the Robert William Foundation, our organization dedicated to financially and emotionally supporting women, couples and families going through the devastating loss of a child and infertility.


a blog by Jamie Pursley, January 23, 2013

Being diagnosed with infertility is difficult, but finding another woman willing to carry a pregnancy for you instills a sense of hope, otherwise lost. Jamie and her husband are fortunate to be approaching parenthood as a result of gestational surrogacy. Some intended mothers feel concern and anxiety over their ability to bond with the baby they were unable to carry. Many of these mothers learn that they can form a strong with their baby through breastfeeding. Jamie shares her experiences of surprise and elation as she prepares for her baby's arrival.

a blog by Jamie Pursley, January 2, 2013

2013: Yes, Please!

2012 was a year of grief and sadness; but also, a year of renewal and rebirth.

Our loss happened so late in 2011 that it's hard sometimes to remember it wasn't this year. However, I certainly did all of my grieving and healing in 2012. On new years eve 2011, I was so sad to leave behind the year that I was pregnant with my precious angel Robert William. I cried because of everything we were leaving behind, but also because of the tough year I knew we were in store for.

a blog by Jamie Pursley, July 9, 2012

Here we are, less than a week away from our egg retrieval procedure. Who knew that seven months would fly by so incredibly fast! I feel like yesterday I was in my bed, unable to even fathom getting up to venture out of the house. Now here we are, ready to finally enter into this next chapter in our lives: starting our family.

While this process feels like it’s been taking forever to complete, it’s really only been in progress since March 2012. I feel ridiculous saying to people “I’ve waited so long” or “it’s about time” when I know people have waited many years for what we are about to go through. Our journey may have been short, but it does not change the toll it took on us. If I had a chance to give any advice to other couples who go through anything similar to what we have, the best piece would be “take your time.” In Jamie and Jake time, four months feels like a lifetime.

a blog by Jamie Pursley, June 13, 2012

In seven days I will begin my first round of fertility shots. Hooray! I never knew I would be this excited to experience menopause and ovarian-overload all in one month. Wait, menopause?

That’s how this process works. The first cycle of injections I’m about to begin will completely shut down my ovaries. To clarify, I have had a partial hysterectomy (removed my uterus but left my ovaries). So, I still have hormones naturally and the occasional “monthly” rollercoaster; however, I do not have a uterus, therefore no periods. So, it is still necessary to take the Lupron (ovaries-off drug) in order to successfully overstimulate with the second cycle of drugs.

a blog by Jamie Pursley, June 5, 2012

When someone mutters the phrase “a month of Sundays,” they just have no idea. When it comes to waiting to get pregnant, we women know the process is a grueling waiting game. But what happens when you’re waiting for someone else to get pregnant for you?

I thought last September, when I found out that I was pregnant, that nine months was forever to wait. Wow, I had no clue! After we lost our pregnancy four months later, I promised myself I would dedicate the following five months to healing and grieving rather than jumping right back on the baby bandwagon. I am somewhat of an impatient person when it comes to this baby game, so of course that didn’t quite work out. Here we are, nine months after my first pregnancy, but another 11 months from having a baby. So in mother-to-be time, that’s forever. This feels like the never ending gestation.


Comments (1)

We love you Jake and Jamie and are so glad to be able to support you and follow so closely with you on your journey!


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