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It Takes Two

A blog by Jane Newman, December 10, 2014

I am very proud of my husband. Let me tell you why.

Of course it makes sense that because it takes two people to have a baby, both parties are tested. As you read later blogs it will become clear that our main problems were relating to my secondary infertility. Ironically, when the first hospital conducted tests, problems were found on the male side.

I am eternally grateful to my parents for bringing me up in an environment where we don’t shut out problems and hope they will just go away. We confront them, talk about them, try to remedy them. As a result I encouraged my husband to communicate with me. Let me in. Allow me to be there for him, as he was for me throughout our journey.

Together, we got some incredibly beneficial advice regarding medication, exercise, lifestyle and diet. I did all I can to reassure him that by no means had he let me down, nothing was his fault, nobody was to blame. I am proud of his determination and hard work to take all this on board in order to rectify the problem, which is exactly what he did.

Out of respect for him, I am not going into detail here but I am more than happy to be contacted personally to discuss these matters further. We had no idea what to do when we found out the news. But we took action after being given guidance and are fortunate that this worked for us. If we can help other by sharing this with them, then great.

So once he was ‘fixed’ it was back to me! This didn’t prove so straightforward. Don’t get me wrong for a second, it wasn’t easy dealing with the male fertility issues. By no means were they any less important. But the complications that were discovered on my side made his pale in comparison.

Nobody is perfect. We all make mistakes and can be wrong at times. But sometimes making mistakes is ok. We can learn from our mistakes. Sometimes, however, making mistakes is not ok. Allow me to explain.
Infertility is heart-breaking. What doesn’t help is that when we seek help, the people that we are instilling our trust in, the people who we are turning to for answers, can make mistakes. The consultant at first hospital I went to not only misdiagnosed the problem, but he missed it altogether!

It makes it understandable therefore, when I tell you I’m a firm believer in getting a second opinion. This leads me into the next part of my journey, which you can read in my next blog.

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