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Halloween for the Infertile

a blog by Julie Monacelli, October 22, 2013

Halloween is my favorite holiday. I love everything about it, free candy, ringing doorbells at the houses without lights on but clearly have people home and original costumes. I don’t mind the mass marketed costumes, but looking at a costume that someone put some thought into really makes me smile. This year for Halloween, I am torn between which costume I should use because there are just so many natural options for me:

  1. I could go as a Scrabble board... naked with letters written into the boxes of the leftover adhesive on my stomach from my estrogen patches.
  2. I could put on some workout gear and go as a CrossFitter. The Lovenox has been unusually effective this time around, and I am covered in bruises. All of my friends that do CrossFit have some colorful injuries from dropping items on themselves when they work out so it seems like a logical costume. Then again, I would need to go as the brand-new CrossFitter, since I am woefully out of shape compared to them.
  3. If I find a dark red or purple bean bag and take all the stuffing out, wearing the deflated shell over my head, I could go as my lazy right ovary.
  4. If I can find a Medusa costume to paint red, I could be everyone’s favorite hideous monster, Aunt Flo.
  5. If I look like a psychotic woman with a shopping basket full of pregnancy tests I could be the woman in the two week wait. I am fairly certain this last costume requires no effort on my part, I have all the supplies.

Anyone else have any ideas for an infertile costume??? Trick or treat!

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