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Why Is EVERYONE Pregnant?
a blog by Katie O'Connor, October 22, 2013
Can you remember back to the moment you heard the words, “We are referring you to an infertility specialist” (aka Reproductive Endocrinologist or an RE). You probably felt a wave of emotions – sad, mad, confused, shocked, frustrated, jealous, or maybe you were just numbed by the news.
I remember when my OB-GYN told me there was nothing else they could do for me at their offices, and that I would have to see a new doctor. My issue was amenorrhea (or lack of a period). I got off the pill and nothing, nothing happened.
I remember being shocked, wondering if I should blame being on the pill for so long, or waiting so long. Not knowing was the worst.
I also remember that was the time I started to notice EVERYONE was pregnant.
And if they weren’t pregnant, they had a stroller with a baby in it, or were talking about babies. It seemed my mailbox was flooded with baby shower invites, and baby announcements. Normally I wouldn’t think twice about any of this, but given my current state (both physically and mentally) it seemed I was surrounded by something I couldn’t have.
It seemed all my close friends had kids by now (and were working on their seconds and thirds). My husband and I had decided to wait, we got married young, worked hard, enjoyed having the freedom to do what we wanted, when we wanted. But now all those decisions, all the years we said, “one more year”, seemed to work against us.
I wanted to share in my girlfriends' (who were moms) chats about their kids, and we wanted to be included in the playdates and birthday parties.
We never felt like we were missing anything but suddenly we felt like we were missing it all.
Now that we have my daughter in our lives, we can hardly remember what life was like without her! Most of us know the feeling, we can say that about our significant others, or our pets, but there is something different about a child. We are still amazed that she came from us. We are in awe of the fact that I carried her with me for 40 weeks.
What we will never forget is the struggle we lived through to get her into this world. When I think about our story, it was a difficult time, but not as difficult as some have it. It’s crazy to say we ONLY had wait 1 year (and take many, many meds) to get my period, to try 3 IUIs and then 1 lucky IVF to get pregnant. We never suffered a loss, we didn’t max out our savings, we (luckily, in the larger perspective) almost had it “easy” when thinking about the greater number affected by infertility.
Thankfully our story was a struggle but had a happy ending; it will forever be a part of us. That process brought us closer together. It made us love, support, trust, and respect each other more than we ever thought possible.
It also made me look at all those pregnant bellies and bustling strollers differently. Before I was jealous of them, wanting to be them, wondering “why me?”. But after going through my fertility journey, I think differently now. We never know a stranger’s story. Now when I see a belly or a stroller, I wonder if they had to go through IVF to get pregnant and have their child too? There are 7.3 plus million of us that have been affected by infertility, and 5 million plus babies born to ART (assisted reproductive technology), so it’s very possible that that same person you are jealous of as you walk down the street, has had to go through the very same struggle.