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We Are A Secret Sorority

a blog by Katie O'Connor, January 16, 2014

Once you are diagnosed with infertility (whether yours has a name or is just simply "undiagnosed infertility") and you have the revelation that you won't be having that "pee on a stick" (or POAS) moment, you have to start learning the jargon, the new language of abbreviations (such as IF and ART), and what will become the new norm of testing, monitoring, and medicating. You are now part of a secret sorority of women.

We are the ones that go silently about our day, you may walk past us in the street, be in line with us at the coffee house, or running next to us on the treadmill. We seem alike, but we were up before dawn to get our blood drawn and ultrasound screening, we are checking our watches to see when if it’s time to do our first hormone injection of the day, we are stressing over what we eat, what we ARE doing, what we AREN’T doing, you name it we are stressing about it… silence.

In our clinic’s waiting room, there is silence, you can cut the tension with a knife. You’d think there would be more chatter, like “what are you here for?, how many IVF’s is this for you??”, but there is no discussion, no sharing wounds, no opening up. But WHY? We are all going through the same thing, why not all be there for each other.

We turn to online chat rooms that end up filling us with more questions or more fear. No matter what a symptom you can find a blog that tells you you ARE and also ARE NOT pregnant.

We need to rally together, be a voice to a movement. Share so others who follow in our footsteps have our strength to lean on.

We don’t want people to feel sorry for us, we just want people to understand. And the more of us that share our story, the more people will realize how many people (women AND men) are affected by fertility issues.

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