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How To Support A Girlfriend Who Is Going Through Infertility

a blog by Katie O'Connor, April 7, 2014

You may have a girlfriend who is struggling with infertility as I type this. She is sitting alone worrying about everything…

Will I ever get pregnant?
Be a mom?
Feel normal again?
Not feel crazy – cuz man those meds can make you feel like you are in a constant state of PMS!

For all of those girls out there who want to support your friend, here is a guide on how to best support them!

  1. Be there for them, sounds so easy, but REALLY be there, not to give advice but to be a shoulder to cry on, and an ear to listen.
  2. Don’t tell them to “relax”, they have heard from everyone to relax and don’t want to hear it from their best friend, relaxing won’t “fix” their infertility, better yet – invite them to a spa day – I am sure you both would enjoy some pampering.
  3. If you are pregnant, by all means don’t complain about your pregnancy – your friend would take 40 weeks of morning sickness to be pregnant right now!
  4. Try not to compare what they are going through with what your cousin experienced, or what you heard from your co-worker, everyone’s struggle is unique and complicated and painful in its own way.
  5. Don’t tell them “things could be worse”, sure things could be, but for them right now things seem impossible, all they can think about is being a mom one day.
  6. If they have decided to place their trust in you and share their struggle, honor that trust by not sharing their story with anyone, keep it private between you and your friend.
  7. Support their decisions to either keep going, or stop, every decision with infertility is a difficult one.
  8. Remember it maybe hard for them to attend “baby” or “kid” focused events, they love you and are happy for you but may not be able to handle mentally the stress of going to your baby shower or daughter’s first birthday party.
  9. Remind her she is a strong amazing person, and that you are there for her now and always!

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