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Infertility’s Silver Linings

A blog by Lisa Newton, February 4, 2015

Infertility is one of the worst and hardest things that has ever happened to me. I would never wish it on anyone and I’d do almost anything to make it disappear from my life. However, one of the ways I’ve learned to cope with it is by focusing (or at least attempting to focus) on the “silver linings” that have resulted from it. These are the things prevent my sadness from turning into despair and my anger from turning into bitterness. I share my silver linings with you in hopes that they’ll help you identify the silver linings in your own experience.

Infertility has tested and refined my marriage.

My husband and I often talk about how much we’ve been through in the relatively short time we’ve been married. Out of our nearly four years of marriage, three years have been spent trying to conceive. We’ve argued and cried over treatment options, financial stresses, and our different reactions to the grief of failed treatments, but we have survived. We know that infertility is one of the biggest stressors a couple can face, and we’re proud of ourselves for coming out stronger.

Infertility has made me a more sensitive person.

Infertility has opened by eyes to the realities of people dealing with life-changing issues like grief, depression, and chronic illness. Sure, I was aware of these issues before I experienced infertility, but I never really thought about them at a deeper level. I’m more conscious of avoiding cliches when people are suffering and I never assume I know how a person feels in a certain circumstance. Each of us has our own unique story, our own feelings, and our own experience and now I’m more aware of acknowledging and respecting that.

Infertility has taught me about my body.

During my struggle with infertility, I’ve learned so much about how my body works. Four years ago, I barely knew what ovulation meant. For as long as I could remember, I'd felt this odd twinge of pain in my lower right back. I never knew what caused it or why it appeared every few weeks but only lasted a few hours. Now I know it’s one of the signs my body gives me to let me know ovulation is happening! This newfound awareness and knowledge about my reproductive system has led to a new interest in learning more about my body as a whole and how to take care of it. As odd as it may seem, I feel like infertility has made me a healthier person, and I’m grateful for that.

What silver linings have come out of your infertility experience? Please share your thoughts in the comments.

Comments (6)

Lisa, it is a very nice article. We often focus so much on the difficulties that we do not see our blessings. ”What has my unborn child already given me?” - It is a powerful question to ask. And it sounds you got many beautiful answers. Thank you, Esther

Lisa, you did such a wonderful job with this post. I agree with you about infertility strengthening my marriage. I know that surviving infertility together means we can survive anything at this point. My major silver lining is the strengthening of my faith. I am learning to thank God for these trials that I know will also lead to joy. My final silver lining are women like you. I am blessed by the friendships I have made through infertility. *Hugs* to you, sweet lady!

I have to agree on with you on the fact about it strengthening your marriage. The same thing has happened to us and I am thankful for my wonderful marriage!

Through my three year (so far) struggle the Lord has brought me the most amazing friends. I have developed deeper and more meaningful relationships with people I never thought I would be close to. He has given me friends who keep me positive, friends who will diligently pray for me, and friends who always ask me how I'm doing (and anyone going through infertility or any other grief knows that you just want someone to ask!!). I am a woman who needs authentic friendship in her life, and God has provided in the way that only He can.

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