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Save Your Relationship From Being Lost In The Fertility Treatment Fog: Part 2
A blog by Rosanne Austin, August 14, 2014
“Us” Time in the TTC Free Zone
As I said in Part 1, trying to conceive (TTC) easily becomes a lifestyle. It can greedily take over your calendar, take over your thoughts, and leave you feeling out of control, or at times even desperate. Chances are, if you aren’t talking about it constantly with friends and family, it is most certainly the lead story between you and your partner. Totally normal, I get it, but at some point, you must give it a rest and change the freakin’ channel.
That being said, now more than ever, you must carve out time to just connect as a couple. I don’t want to hear any nonsense about not having the time or the money to do this. You found a way to get treatment and have the discipline to follow your protocol instructions, so I know you can do this!
“Us” Time in the TTC Free Zone is about creating a time and space where you and your partner are free from thinking and talking about your fertility treatment. You are both dealing with the stress of your journey in your own terms when you are apart, and undoubtedly when you are together. Give your “We” permission to just take a deep breath. Take a break from fear spirals and just kick back!
You know your “We” best. Think about small things you can do to carve out some time where infertility and your treatment is not the headline. No matter what you choose to do, remember—this is about staying connected. No talk whatsoever about infertility, TTC, or your treatment for this small block of time. Share this plan with your partner. Make a promise to each other that you will do this.
This isn’t rocket science, but it will take effort and commitment. Here are some ideas for Us Time in the TTC Free Zone activities (I’ve done each of these and they are fantastic and effective):
- Date Night
- Day Trip
- Snuggle on the couch watching a funny movie
- Go for a walk
- Find a recipe you want to try—work on it together (if you dare!)
Look, the only limitation here is your imagination and your ability to stay focused. You get to create the what, where, and when. Have fun and RUN with this!
Taking the time to do this will help you create a safe zone for when things get really rough, as they sometimes do. In a sense you are creating a ritual of peace and freedom for your “We” to just be. That may sound a little granola, and yes, I am from California, but when you start doing this, you will see exactly what I mean.
The question you want to keep asking yourself during your journey is, “How do I want “Us” to feel?” While I’m not much of a gambler, my money is on you wanting your relationship to feel strong and for the both of you to feel confident and loved no matter what happens. Faithfully making space for “Us” Time in the TTC Free Zone will get you on your way.
Now that you have the tools to do the Bear Hug Slow Dance and create Us Time in the TTC Free Zone, Part 3, I will share the single most powerful thing you can do to keep your relationship from being lost in the Fertility Treatment Fog.