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Five Facts that Will Help You Stay Afloat On the Fertility Journey

a blog by Russell Davis, June 19, 2014

These five facts can help you stay afloat on the infertility journey

  1. We live in the experience of our thinking.
    We tend to think circumstances create our experience. For example, people sometimes say they have a stressful job. The thing is, nothing has the power to make us feel anything. It is not the job that makes us feel stressed. It is what we think about the job creates our experience. You cannot have a thought without a feeling, or a feeling without a thought behind it, whether you are aware of it or not.
  2. We cannot predict the future.
    This sounds obvious but inadvertently our thinking tries to predict and control the future. Our thinking wants us to be okay and believes our well-being is dependent on external circumstances. So it tries to control these including predicting outcomes, but nothing can predict the future, not even our thinking. Stress and worry is all future thinking. When we come back to the here and now we cannot be stressed and anxious.
  3. We have the possibility of seeing things at different levels of consciousness.
    When we're in a situation is very easy think about it and thus experience it from one level of consciousness. However we have the possibility of seeing something from different levels of consciousness, different thinking. It is like having a stack of long tubes and if you look at the situation from the bottom one that is your experience. We have the possibility at any moment to see it from a different position, to raise our level of consciousness. We then get a sense of perspective and a different experience. Tomorrow you may think about things and thus experience things in a very different way.
  4. We are surrounded by people in their thinking.
    We all get caught in our thinking which is often based on fear. We know infertility can be very lonely journey. So often the people around us just don’t understand. More than that, it’s amazing how people can say the most inappropriate things. Remember we all get caught in our thinking. People are just talking from their thinking - their fears.
  5. Whatever happens I’ll be OK.
    We talk about infertility being a roller-coaster which it really is. Life is also a roller-coaster, perhaps not as intense but still a roller-coaster. However, we come into the world with innate wellbeing. Our sense of being OK is within us. We are born with it it never goes away.

As we get older we start to think our well-being is dependent on external things such as what people think of us, etc. Our well-being is not dependent on anything. When we try and control circumstances to feel okay it is like being on a roller-coaster and resisting every twist and turn, every up and down. It gets very uncomfortable and very tiring.

When we trust our well-being is within us we begin to relax on the roller coaster.

Whatever happens you’ll be OK.

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