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Fitting In(fertile)

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I’m S.I.F. – The Single Infertile Female. That’s right, I’m the girl who got hit with the double whammy; Broken lady parts, and no man to pick up the pieces.

Life is funny.

At 25 I moved from San Diego to Alaska with the plan of finding a man, settling down and making a house full of babies. Less than a year later I was told that I had a debilitating case of endometriosis. I was forced to face the reality that I may never be a mother in the way I’d always pictured. Getting pregnant naturally was suddenly impossible, and the dreaded “now or never” gauntlet was thrown.

I chose now and embarked upon the journey of beating infertility and becoming a single mother. Sadly, the road hasn’t been easy. and I already have one failed IVF cycle under my belt. Every step of the way has been documented at my personal blog (Single Infertile Female), where I try to mix humor into a struggle that is difficult for us all.

Around here, you can expect to find my take on this infertile world as a newbie who is still figuring it all out; taking everything one day at a time, and learning as I go.
Still believing that somewhere, beneath all the heartbreak, there must be a purpose.



a blog by S.I.F., February 15, 2011

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a blog by S.I.F., February 1, 2011

Trying to conceive is typically a personal and private endeavor. But an inability to conceive has the potential of becoming a truly isolating event.

Fertility issues aren’t often discussed openly. There is a certain stigma attached to infertility, and most shy away from sharing their challenges. It becomes almost embarrassing to admit to an inability to achieve something that it seems everyone else is able to accomplish with ease.

The Infertility Closet Is a Lonely Place

Infertility has a way of walling us in, and many women talk about being in the closet with their fertility woes. Most view these issues as private matters, and don’t want to be responsible for sharing their struggles with coworkers, family members and friends. Others fear the questions of those with little understanding of what’s actually going on; therefore, they just prefer not to open that door at all. And others still simply don’t know where to begin.

After all, how do you just open up and tell people you’re struggling to create a child?

The problem is, being trapped within that infertility closet is often one of the loneliest places a woman can find herself. When no one in your life really knows the extent of your yearning for a child, they have no way of relating. Of being there for you. Of supporting you through your struggle.

And you often find yourself alone, wondering why it is that no one understands.

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a blog by S.I.F., January 25, 2011

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a blog by S.I.F., January 18, 2011

I have come across a lot of sadness in the infertility community.

Stories that are difficult to hear. Journeys that seem long and unending. And losses that in reality, no one should ever have to endure.

I’ve often caught myself wondering how any of this is fair. Why the quest to motherhood should have to be so difficult for so many, when in the meantime there are those who don’t seem to care about their responsibilities as parents at all. Those who don’t seem to want it. Who can’t be bothered to make their children a priority.

Why are they the ones blessed with children, while there are those of us who would do anything for that same blessing?

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a blog by S.I.F., January 12, 2011

Dating while infertile.