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Five Things That Helped Me Cope With Infertility
A blog by Stephanie Levich, Family Match Consulting, May 29, 2015
Coping with infertility is a challenge for anybody. Even though I had worked in the fertility field for over a decade before I found out that I too needed help to have a baby, I still was completely overwhelmed and frankly pretty devastated. Friends were getting pregnant within a month of trying, or worse, not trying at all. And there I was...wanting it so badly, and waiting month after month, with so many trips back to the trash can PRAYING that the second line maybe decided to show up. Well, it never did. But thankfully, IVF was my savior and now I've made it my mission to help others get through this crazy roller coaster ride we call infertility.
Here are five things I did that helped me cope through my personal journey:
- I talked about it. I talked to my mom, my best friends, and most importantly my husband. I told them when I was having a crappy day and I called them after each appointment. I had no shame about our infertility journey and I loved, and so needed their support.
- I planned things to look forward to. A massage, a great meal somewhere, even a vacation that we would take if we didn't get pregnant. Having something on the calendar to be excited about if we didn't get our good news was nice and the planning process ended up being a welcomed distraction.
- I began declining invitations to baby showers and kid's birthday parties. It just became too difficult. I wanted to be there for my friends but I realized that I needed to protect myself too. No matter how genuinely happy I was for my friends (and I truly was) I couldn't help but wonder when my turn would come.
- I always had a plan B, plan C, and so forth. While some people don't want to think about alternative ways to build their family, I needed to. I already knew about egg donation and surrogacy having worked in the field for many years, but I spoke to several domestic and international adoption agencies to learn the process. I needed to know that no matter what, some way, somehow I would become a mommy.
- I tried to find the humor. My husband and I would laugh about all the silly things we tried in hopes of finally getting that second line. We giggled every night while getting ready for my nightly injections because who would have ever thought that disrobing in the middle of our kitchen with a needle in hand would become our evening routine?
Those are my tips! What are some tips and tricks that you have found helpful throughout your fertility journey?