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Mom-petitive and Fertile


a blog by Alec, May 26, 2011

Recently, JK showed me Mompetition, which creates hilarious cartoons out of written text. The antagonist is a woman who essentially tries to outdo anything that another does. Your children get organic food? She only feeds them food that she has grown herself. You had three miscarriages? She had 10! You had two in vitro fertilizations (IVFs)? She's had seven, and every morning takes Clomid with a trigger shot chaser!

Slightly less ridiculous examples of this character exist in real life. JK encountered one recently. This fertile woman very much wanted to portray herself as infertile because it had taken them several months to conceive. It's funny how being infertile is something that 7.3 million of us would wish on no one, not even our worst enemy. But this Wannabe Martyr actually wanted to join our club.

Strangely enough, some fertiles see advantage in the life of an infertile. They see more ultrasounds, so that we can see the progress of our babies. They, of course, miss the stress preceding every ultrasound as we pray that the pregnancy is still viable.

They see work-from-home situations and are actually jealous! Did it occur to them that several months of doctor-enforced bed rest absolutely sucks?

But worst, some see the difficult life of infertiles and actually wish to join the party. They have a sort of martyrdom complex. For whatever reason, be it attention or breaking the boredom of their pathetic lives, they want to be perceived as infertile. And it is thus they portray themselves.

I suppose that these nut jobs appear harmless ... until they try to join the infertile conversation with other infertiles. And then, you realize just how offensive they are.

Why is it that so many people wish to portray themselves as broken? Michelle Salahi was kicked off Celebrity Rehab because "addicted to reality television" is not a true addiction! Parents want their children to be labeled ADHD! Overweight people actually think to go after disability for obesity. Think of that. Obesity. Encouraged. Money AND a pity party to go with. The true daily double.

But here's the thing. When you are not broken, you blur the true issue for those that are. Millions are truly disabled. Millions more try to escape addiction's net. And children with special needs? Resources in districts are incredibly scarce already. Children with learning disorders and autism spectrum disorders, and oh so many more difficult issues NEED those resources desperately.

And infertiles?

If the Wannabe Martyr is actually heard by fertile people, they will come to believe that her story is normal for infertiles. That is where the crime occurs, because they will truly believe the crap that is so often thrown about:

    "Just keep trying! It will work itself out!"

    "Just relax!"

    "My friend was infertile for six to seven months and then conceived!"

I told JK to call her out if that sort of crap ever again spewed forth from this woman's mouth. Too many people have fought too hard and hurt too long for us to tolerate a Wannabe Martyr.

If I ever hear the like, I swear I will unleash a harangue not seen since Coach Ditka lurked the Soldier Field sidelines.

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Comments (1)

I find it interesting that you think infertile women are truly "broken" but overweight people aren't. Much like ignorant people say, "just relax" or "keep trying, it will work itself out". People often think overweight people are pigs & say things like, "just exercise more" or "eat smaller portions". Ignorant of thyroid problems or necessary medications which cause weight gain. I was put on numerous medications (one after another, every few months, since they could not find the right one & I was diagnosed as drug resistant) each one causing 20+ lbs of weight gain. Even though I was eating less than 1200 calories a day. That along with a thyroid problem wound up causing me to gain well over 100 lbs. I've recently gone through bariatric surgery. You think infertility treatments suck? Try major surgery followed by 6 wks with a G Tube. That's not much fun either. So before you judge might remember how it feels when people do it to you.

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