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Honoring the Wannabe Dads...


a blog by Alec, June 9, 2011

Father’s Day seems to be the topic of the moment. I’ve been invited to the Father’s Day Twitterview with RESOLVE Executive Director Barbara Collura, and I’ve started to see stories and articles.

Note: Friday, June 17, at 2 p.m. EDT. You can follow the hash-tag #tvFD (representing Twitterview for Father’s Day) at this link.

There are a lot of Wannabe Dads out there. This is a painful time of year. It’s difficult to imagine that your own Father’s Day may never come.

I married JK in May of 2008, so my first Father’s day passed innocently. Right around that time, we learned of our first pregnancy, with no earthly idea of what was to come.

The second Father’s Day was less pleasant after three miscarriages in the space of one year.

The third was a nervous one, as we slowly advanced through a difficult pregnancy, wondering when the other shoe might drop. For those curious, I am currently depicting that pregnancy on the blog I Want to be a Daddy.

A week from Sunday, I will celebrate my first Father’s Day as a dad. I’m somewhat in stunned disbelief.

Before we made it to the other side, I imagined what sort of kids I would have, what sort of father I would be, what we would do together. Wannabe Dads do that type of imagining. They imagine their kids’ laughs and cries. They imagine roughhousing with their kids under their wife’s disapproving stare.

Will my daughter be a heartbreaker? How will I protect her from all of the guys out there with only one thing on their mind? Or my son? Will he be an athlete? What leagues do I put him in? Will he be popular with the girls?

How do I encourage them? Where do I hold tight? When do I let go?

Then reality strikes like lightning on a golfer, and the Wannabe Dads return to the present moment, and it hits them that all of these mental preparations may go for naught.

Most will not cry, but rather will continue on stoically, not betraying their sadness. And so Father’s Day passes in quiet longing.

Wannabe Dads, I don’t know if your imaginings will ever come true. I don’t know if you will make it to the other side. But I know from personal experience that it’s possible.

I wish each of you luck.

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