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'Gourmet' Sex — A Conception Booster?

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a blog by Joanne Verkuilen, Founder, Circle+Bloom, April 7, 2011

If you are anything like me when I was going through my troubles conceiving, sex was the last thing I wanted. It's so ironic — the more you want to become a mother, the less you want to enjoy the love you can experience with your partner.

But studies show that taking your time and having uninhibited sex can actually greatly improve your chances of conception. Dr. Allan Pacey, a senior lecturer at Sheffield University in England, said, "Sex should be as wild and thrilling as it was when they first met, when they weren't thinking about babies, to give them the maximum possible chance of having a baby."

"Gourmet" sex is the act of taking time to ensure the other has a satisfying experience, and it is recommended for couples who are trying to conceive. In the documentary The Great Sperm Race, Dr. Joanna Ellington, shows that there is up to a 50 percent increase in the amount of sperm ejaculated when the men are enjoying this gourmet-type sex. An extra five minutes of sexual activity before ejaculation can produce an extra 25 million sperm, according to Dr. Pacey. Stimulating fact!

And for the ladies, "When a woman experiences an orgasm, we think the intensity of the muscular contractions she has during the big pressure changes going on in her body helps to pull or suck up the sperm into her cervix and from there into the uterus," explained Pacey.

But how can you reclaim that inner spark that you once felt for your loved one? When it becomes a duty in a relationship, it becomes a chore, and chores are never fun.

The two biggies to reclaiming passion are:

  • Communication and breathing, and
  • Present moment awareness

Communication is always key in a relationship. It's that difficult honest dialogue that you need — and realistically takes a good couple of hours to get through. Try to do your best to listen, be non-judgmental and try to be as empathetic as possible.

Present moment awareness is when you do go for it, try not be thinking about getting pregnant while you are in the throes of passion. Instead, be focused on the touch, the caress, the kiss and the love.

Pamela Madsen, a sex educator, speaker, and author of Shameless: How I Ditched the Diet, Got Naked, Found True Pleasure ... and Somehow Got Home in Time to Cook Dinner, recently said, "Sex and fertility is a little like peanut butter and jelly — they go so well together! So make yourself a sandwich, and don't be stingy with the ingredients!"

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