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A Decision You Will Never Regret
I was planning to blog about Manny Ramirez taking HCG (yes, the fertility drug), Alice Domer criticizing her own study that showed acupuncture doesn't boost IVF success, a new study reporting that France –- a country whose citizens sleep and the eat the most -- is the most fertile country in the E.U., but I spent the day interviewing people for our next series of patient videos and what I learned was much more important than the news headlines.
Ready? If you are considering using a donor egg or a surrogate to have a baby, please don’t wait any longer. Accept your fears about the lack of control and the unknown and go for it. You will never regret the outcome or the lessons you will learn through the experience. You will become 1) a parent and 2) a better, more compassionate person as a result.
This is nothing I can prove. It is not a statistical study I have done. But having spent an intense five hours delving into the physical and emotional aspects of surrogacy and donor eggs, I am overwhelming with the love these individuals have for their children and for the random (divine?) women who came into their lives to helped them get there. Plus, I met two of the products of their difficult road: a beautiful, smart, amazingly balanced 13-year-old girl (donor egg) and an adorable, lovable, beautiful 6-month old boy (surrogate).
I have never met people who love their children more, who are more effusive about the value of human life, or who are more thankful for another human being (their donor or surrogate). These people know things and feel things – good things – that the rest of us don’t.
Their bottom-line advice? Trust your gut. When you review a file of a donor or surrogate who is right for you, you will know you “found” her. Kind of like falling in love. One couple said health and geographic location were the most important things they looked for in choosing their surrogate; the other said it was their surrogate’s honesty.
Your criteria will be different.
But you will know.
And you will never regret it once you hold your baby in your arms.