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The Cards Are Coming ...

Christmas Card.jpg

a blog by Ellen Glazer, December 2, 2010

It’s that time of year again. Holiday cards are coming.

Maybe there will be a few less this year? Postage is up, snail mail is out, and most of us are watching costs as the recession drags on. Nevertheless, you need to be prepared if you are coping with infertility or undergoing fertility treatments.

The cards are coming. The cards are coming, and they ain’t pretty.

I can easily remember a time when people simply sent Christmas cards. Or “Seasons Greetings.” A few Hanukkah cards. Sectarian or not, they were cards with greetings. Sometimes someone would slip a family photo in — and one of those funny or insipid holiday letters. Cards were cards: they were not photo cards.

It is the photo cards that you need to beware of when you are trying to conceive.

You know what they look like. Long and thin. Not much text—if any. Just photos. You open the envelope cautiously, knowing it will be difficult to see how much the baby has grown, anticipating that the twins will look so much older a year since you last saw their playful smiles. And there is the worry that there will be a new face in the photo, another baby that has arrived while you were still trying to conceive and trying and trying …

I wish I had some good advice about what to so with the holiday cards. I’ve had clients who have simply refused to open them. Understandable, but I’m not sure it’s a good plan.

Open them slowly, over time?? That seems to simply prolong the agony.

Open promptly and tear in half? Maybe.

Perhaps all you can do is promise yourself that when your long awaited baby finally arrives, you will not assume that everyone you know wants a photo of your cherished one at holiday time.

A picture of Santa on his sled might be a refreshing change.

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