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Surrogacy: Who Would Carry Someone Else's Baby?
a blog by Ellen Glazer, May 5, 2011
Most couples who struggle with infertility are not “candidates” for a gestational carrier pregnancy. However, for some enduring a long journey through infertility, questions arise including: “Is it really a uterine problem?” “Are my repeated miscarriages a sign that I need someone else to carry my baby?” “Is it medically wise for me to become pregnant?”
As these questions arise, they are accompanied by the following big question: “Just who would carry a baby for someone else?”
I have had the privilege of meeting — and getting to know — the women who decide to become gestational carriers. Although each is a unique individual, I have been struck by the things these women have in common with each other.
Here are some of my observations.
- They are a very likable, appealing group of women. The gestational carriers I have spoken with are positive, upbeat, content women who seem to like their lives and to want to share some of their good fortune with others.
- They are women who love being pregnant. Or they feel they “do pregnancy well.” Or both. Some gestational carriers say they never feel as well as when they are pregnant. Some say that they don’t especially like being pregnant, but they like the fact that they can do it so well.
- They are women who love motherhood. The gestational carriers I have spoken with are more often than not married mothers of two children. A few have three children. Occasionally, someone has one. However, most of the time they are women who say that they feel blessed to have had two healthy children, and they decided to focus their emotional and financial resources on the two children they have. In becoming gestational carriers they have the opportunity to help others experience something that has given them so much pleasure.
- They are their “own person.” Gestational carriers are an interesting combination of traditional and non-traditional thinkers. In some ways, they seem quite traditional — they have family values, maintain a healthy lifestyle, value relationships and experiences over material things. However, they are also untraditional in that they do not care if others react negatively to the fact that they are carrying someone else’s baby.
- They are resourceful. The gestational carriers I know do not enter into the process lightly. They feel passionate about becoming a gestational carrier. They research it extensively and go to great lengths to make it happen.
I hope this is reassuring to those of you who are beginning to think about a gestational carrrier pregnancy. There are some amazing women ready and willing to help you.