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Will You Be My Valentine...Baby?
a blog by Fran Meadows, February 14, 2013
Most couples that are struggling with infertility know that Valentine’s Day is a day for love and hope that baby dust is in the air. A day to break out your sexiest red lingerie and try to be carefree not thinking about baby making. Well, at least that's what you try to tell yourself; even if it’s for a minute. It's just another day, Valentine’s Day, but we try to embrace it as good things can happen. Some will be embarking on doing injections, an egg retrieval, an embryo transfer, just plain old love making, a BETA (pregnancy hormone hCG) test or just trying to embrace the happy love surrounding them as a couple.
When you are a new couple dating or even married for the first year it might be all about the red of Valentine's Day- dinner, flowers, candy or a romantic weekend getaway. When Valentine’s Day comes and goes year after year with none of these it would be okay- if only you had that big pregnancy announcement to make. It would be priceless to be able to embrace the love of your partner and the love in your womb.
This year, try to put all that fertility talk aside for one night to spend time as a couple. Be one, talk about anything, and celebrate you as a couple. You can hold on to the thoughts of what you have been experiencing but try to hold back on discussing it just for one day. There might be a time when you will be hiring a babysitter so that you can both have this time together on Valentine's Day. For us, now a family after infertility, it's not about flowers, cards, or chocolate, but it's about spending time as a family knowing that we have our one and only Valentine. It took lots of broken hearts, lots of chocolate, lots of shots -not the cupid bow and arrow kind- and lots of patience with love from my husband to make it where we are today. I will never forget the thoughts that I had on Valentine’s Day year after year going through treatments. I did the opposite of what I am telling you to do. I dwelled on all the things that we should have put aside to enjoy the love that we had. I probably made it more upsetting but the feelings came out and I couldn’t control it. Take it from me on the day of love: stick to my advice, you will have plenty of time after this day to bring out your other emotions.
I present you with my heart; with thoughts of a Valentine's Day you will never forget. It's all about you and your partner on this day! Embrace Love!
After Valentine’s Day you can re-charge and direct your focus back to your dreams of having a baby.