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Waiting for Answers
a blog by Melinda Davis, July 13, 2011
To read more of Melinda Davis' Fresh Conceptions blogs, CLICK HERE.
I find myself considering adoption more and more. My husband and I still aren’t sure if we were meant to venture down this road, and there are still many questions that remain unanswered.
But even with all of the questions, I can’t help but feel God is somehow working behind the scenes. Maybe He’s preparing us before moving into the adoption process, or maybe He’s using the time and research to reveal His ultimate answer for us is to remain childfree. Either way, I feel like God is working, and that I find to be very exciting.
In the beginning adoption was something I wouldn’t even consider. I never let myself think I wouldn’t conceive, and always felt our child would come from my husband and me. But through our fertility process God worked in a way I never imagined was possible. He opened my eyes, heart and mind to something greater than my plan. He revealed to me that His plan was never for me to conceive and that if we were to have a child it would be through adoption. He revealed that adoption wouldn’t be plan B, or the 2nd best option for our family, but instead would be an awesome blessing and exactly what He had in mind for us all along. I really think He allowed me to go through all of the fertility trials to bring me peace and excitement for His plan while allowing me to let go of my own.
I also believe that if we were never meant to be parents that He will give us a peace about that as well. He will use our time and research to reveal His ultimate plan for our family and will bring us peace about His decision for our life. Although I currently think it will be hard to live childfree for life, I have seen God change my heart and know without a shadow of a doubt that He will provide us with peace along with His answer. I know that I don’t want to adopt if it’s not the right time or what He wants us to do, so I will gladly wait for Him to reveal His plan.
So as I continue to wait, in a way, I feel the waiting process is becoming easier and easier. When we first started trying for our family, I was impatient and wanted everything to happen immediately. But during the years of uncertainty I have seen Him work in ways I never thought were possible, so I will continue to look to Him for answers and will wait as long as it takes. I will trust that He knows all and will guide us with each step. I will continue to believe that He will complete our family whether it’s through adoption or just enjoying our life as a couple. And I will remember that He is a God of peace and provision, so I will continue to relinquish my fears and doubts and replace those with the love and hope He continues to provide.