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Surviving Infertility

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a blog by Melinda Davis, July 20, 2011

To read more of Melinda Davis' Fresh Conceptions blogs, CLICK HERE.

Plan a date night once a week with your spouse. It can be as simple as a movie night in, dinner at a restaurant or a night out on the town. Try not to talk about fertility stuff — just enjoy the evening with each other.

Begin a blog or start journaling. I think you'll be surprised how therapeutic it can be to put your thoughts in writing. Often times it can be hard to talk about your feelings and fears, or even recognize what they are. Simply start writing about your journey, how a fertility clinic appointment went or anything that comes to mind. Before you know it, you could be discovering things you never realized were buried deep inside. These writings can be something you keep to yourself or, if you feel comfortable enough, share your entries with your spouse, close family or friends whom you have told about trying to start a family. It may be scary, but it's a great way to let them in and will let them know how they might be able to pray for you and support you during this process.

Talk with your spouse. Let your partner know how each appointment goes, what the fertility doctor says and whether you notice any side effects to the fertility drugs you are taking. Keep the lines of communication open. Let your spouse know if there’s anything you would like them to do to help you through this process and encourage them to do the same. It's easy to close down and shut others out, but for me it was a very unhealthy experience. Make sure you share your excitement, thoughts and fears as you go through the process so you can grow together as a couple.

Pray. I know it can often be hard to pray when things don't seem to be going your way, but it's important to keep an ongoing conversation going with God about your thoughts, desires and even frustration. If you find yourself having a hard time bowing your head, try writing a letter to God. Pray that God provides you and your spouse with peace about the decisions in front of you. Pray that He provides the resources for the direction He wants you to go. Pray for your marriage to be strengthened throughout the process. Pray for the doctors and nurses guiding you on this journey. And pray that He reveals His plan for you as a family.

Exercise. I have a love hate relationship with working out, but lately I've gotten into a fitness routine and have learned it really can be a great stress reliever. I used to put it off and would come up with any excuse to get me out of my routine, but the more I do it, the more I’m learning I enjoy it. To start off, write out a schedule so you know exactly what you want to accomplish. Plan your timeline on a weekly basis and plan your schedule for 12 weeks (3 months). Plan an event at the end of your 12th week so you have something to look forward to ... maybe running a 5K, an overnight beach trip or a weekend hiking in the mountains. Now that you have your end goal in mind, set mini goals that you want to reach by the end of each four-week session and increase the intensity after each four-week timeline so at the end of the 12 weeks, you can reach your goal in a healthy way.

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