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When Dreams Come True — My Infertility Miracle
a blog by Melinda Davis, March 6, 2011
In 2007 my husband and I began our journey into parenthood with no idea what we were in for. Like most couples, we didn't expect it would lead us down the road of infertility. After I was diagnosed with polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS), we went through years of fertility treatments until my body finally gave out in 2010, and we were told conceiving a child of our own just wasn't possible. The news was devastating, but eventually we accepted it and moved on. We began exploring our options for adoption, but after almost two years of research and prayer, we simply didn't have peace in knowing that was God's ultimate plan for our family.
So we continued to wait, not knowing if we would ever become parents. I began my infertility blog Fresh Conceptions, and after a year, was asked to begin professionally blogging for FertilityAuthority.
I still remember one of my first posts, titled “Desires,” which was published on June 18, 2010. In it I wrote:
“Desires run deep. They are feelings, emotions and ideas that reach deep into our core. Sure we may want things at different times in our life, but desires are what our heart longs for, quiet whispers that let us know what matters most. For me I’ve always wanted to be a mom. It has been etched on my heart for as long as I can remember…”<.>
I have blogged on our infertility journey for nearly two years now, and I am amazed at how much God has taught me during this time. In one of my more recent posts, “A New Outlook for a New Year” published on January 24, 2012, I announced:
“For the first time in probably six years, I have started a year by keeping an open mind, open heart and releasing all of my expectations. For the first time, I have not started the year with an internal countdown of when my family will expand going on in my mind. And for the first time, I finally feel I have some peace moving into a new year …
… have learned that anticipation and expectation can be good at times, but when you let them rule your life they can be very unhealthy. Once I realized I had to release my planning, timing and expectations, and replace them with a trust in God no matter what the future held, I was finally able to enjoy the moment without anticipating what was up ahead. I realized that the answer I had in front of me was that I was childfree, and I could either accept this answer, embrace the life I had been blessed with, and trust God knew what He was doing with my future, or I could continue the battle that’s lasted for years and miss out on the blessings I had been given. It was in that moment I finally chose to be free, to accept the things I could not change, and to move forward in life with a joy I hadn’t experienced in a very long time.”
The last five years have truly been some of the most difficult and challenging years of my life, but at the same time, they have grown me in ways I never imagined were possible. Through it all I never knew what God’s ultimate answer would be, but I had learned to be content by living the life I was blessed to live.
I had honestly given up on the idea that I would ever become pregnant. I always knew God could do anything, and was the God of miracles, but after so much time had passed, I realized I needed to fully entrust my life to Him and accept His plan regardless of the outcome. I knew God had given me the desire to become a mom, but I figured if He planned to use that desire solely to reach others struggling with infertility then that’s what I wanted too.
Little did I know that God was waiting for me to wholeheartedly release my desire to Him so that He could ultimately use my story to touch others, and bring them hope in knowing that He’s still in the miracle business.
As part of our fertility issues, I have very irregular menstrual cycles and would often go months at a time without a new cycle. Then in January I began developing short, sharp pains in my lower abdomen. My doctor scheduled a routine sonogram for February 10 to see if I had developed a cyst. To our shock and amazement we learned instead that I was 7 weeks and 3 days pregnant!
I just couldn't believe my eyes. There, on the monitor was our child with a strong heartbeat, and within that moment God provided me with His answer. For this was the child I had prayed for, cried over, dreamed of, begged God for, and within those first moments I whispered a heartfelt thank you to God for His precious gift.
It amazes me to look back at my recent blog posts, and to see how God had waited until I finally reached the point of fully trusting in His plan rather than my own before He allowed me to discover this child He already had growing inside me. I know there wasn’t anything I did to deserve it, but now that I am standing on the other side of my fears, I can see how He was preparing me and everything around me for His perfect plan to come about in His perfect timing.
He has reminded me through this miracle that when our hearts are entirely focused on Him, regardless of the situation, it doesn't require anything else on our part … He just wants us to release it all to Him, and then when the time is right, He will deliver our dreams in a way we never imagined was possible.
“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”