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Love Before, During, and After Infertility

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a blog by Melinda Davis, June 15, 2013

I fell in love with my husband pretty soon after meeting him. In college, before even having our first date, I told a friend that I thought I had met the man I was going to marry. He had almost instantly become my best friend, had a genuine heart for God like I had never witnessed up close, was handsome, challenged me, believed in me, and supported me. We were just naturally drawn to each other, fit together like two pieces to the same puzzle, and simply enjoyed each other’s company.

The day I married him I felt as if I had finally found my identity. Becoming his wife was a dream come true, and the most precious thing about our wedding day was being able to call him my husband. It is such an honor, joy, and blessing to be his wife. We have now been married 10 years, and I can honestly say that I love and enjoy him even more now than I did back then.

No marriage is perfect, and you can’t be with someone for so long without having trials along the way. The day we came home from our honeymoon we were hit with our first family crisis. We went from the highest of highs to the lowest of lows, and quickly learned what it meant to support each other in good times and bad. Over the years we experienced many trials, but the biggest challenge of all was infertility.

Infertility is truly a battle. It strikes at your body, heart, mind, emotions, and relationships. I never dreamed infertility would be something my husband and I would face. Next to being my husband’s wife, the only other dream I’ve had is to be a mother, so I can honestly say that infertility brought out the worst part of me. It broke me, hurt me, and scarred me. But through it my husband loved me, supported me, fought for me, and was honest with me even when he knew I didn’t want to hear what he had to say. He endured doctor appointments, mood swings, and turned his life upside down in an effort to help make my dream come true. After years of infertility, being told we wouldn’t be able to conceive, and learning adoption wasn’t the plan God had for our family, my husband helped me to see the blessings we still had, and opened my eyes to the answers God had placed in front of us. God used him to help me find peace in accepting God’s plan for our family, and I couldn’t be more grateful for him or imagine life without him right beside me.

When we were shocked with the news that I was pregnant, my husband was overjoyed. I always knew he would be an amazing father, but he has truly surpassed my wildest expectations. From the moment he learned we had a baby on the way he watched my every move, made sure I had all of the food (and ice cream) I wanted, took bump pictures every chance he had, went to every appointment, researched the best and safest baby items, planned, built, and painted the nursery, voluntarily took up most of the cleaning, and did everything within his power to keep me happy, comfortable, and healthy for our baby girl.

My husband hates (and I mean hates) anything to do with hospitals, shots or anything that is medically related. But when it came time for our daughter’s birth he was able to summon some kind of superpower strength and stayed right by my side. I’ll never forget the tears falling from his eyes as he saw me in pain, or looking over and seeing the joy and love in his eyes as the nurse introduced him to our daughter and he held her for the first time. He stayed right by her side when she had to get her shots and medical tests done, and there is nothing I enjoy more than to see his love for her grow with each passing day. She truly is the apple of his eye, and I’m not sure there is a father out there that has ever delighted in their child more.

So as we celebrate his first Father’s Day this weekend, I can’t help but feel totally blessed and overwhelmed by the amount of love and appreciation I have for him. He is truly my best friend, the love of my life, and the man I am so excited to spend my life with. I am just so incredibly thankful to God for blessing me with him, and even more thankful now, that our daughter has been blessed with him as her daddy.