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Lady Gaga Wants a Baby Gaga
a blog by Infertile Naomi, March 25, 2012
WANTED: Italian sperm donor who prefers women who dress in outrageous outfits, including raw meat evening gowns, latex t-shirts and a headpiece shaped like a lobster.
Singer Lady Gaga once wore a dress made out of bacon. The pop queen once sported an outfit made from bubbles and later caused a fashion stir with her unique Kermit the Frog dress. But now expect to see some Italian flair added to her unusual wardrobe … maybe in the next nine months or so.
In a recent article, the singer stated that she wants to conceive an Italian baby through in vitro fertilization (IVF). Although her boyfriend — Vampire Diaries star Taylor Kinney — is not Italian, the star would like to conceive the baby using Italian donor sperm. “I want a baby from an Italian — possibly Sicilian — donor,” the singer said in a statement. She went on to say that she hopes to be a mom by the end of the year.
Mamma Mia! You have to wonder what her boyfriend must think of this. You can imagine their conversation.
Gaga: “Taylor, Love Muffin. I’d like to have a baby with you, but your sperm from Pennsylvania is just not good enough.”
Taylor: “Ciao Bella, Gaga. Don’t do this. I can change. I’ll eat more pasta.”
When doing IVF, I also recommend that Lady Gaga follows the IFD (Italian Fertility Diet). This includes, Injecting your stomach with needles while eating a bowl of gelato; inserting a Progesterone Vaginal Suppository while eating Nonna’s homemade Spaghetti; and peeing on a pregnancy stick while watching an Italian movie.
Best of luck to Lady Gaga in her fertility adventures. We’re sure that her baby would look adorable in her homemade ravioli onesie. But don’t hate the future little Gaga, she was just "Born this Way."