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"Why Don't You Just Adopt?"


a blog by lashaundra

Don't you just hate it when people ask you, "Why don't you just adopt?"

I hate it and I’m an adoptive parent!

People who think adoption is the natural choice for women who struggle to conceive act as if it's as simple as going to pick up a loaf of bread from the market. They nonchalantly make this suggestion as if adoption has never entered into a couple’s mind, as if enlightening them on a new found path. What they fail to realize is, that for most couples, adoption is a conscious, well-thought-out plan. It’s a plan that usually comes after years of heart-wrenching failed attempts at trying to conceive a baby naturally or with the help of ART.

Adoption comes with a lot of soul searching. Can you love a child you didn't give birth to? Can you afford its large price tag? Its invasive and scrutinizing background checks that no biological parent has ever has to endure?

There are people who would make wonderful parents, but they can't pass the background check. Even when couples are able to easily afford to pay an average of $10,000 - $35,000 for a healthy infant, the wait can take years. The grim reality is most people cannot afford the payments and spend years scraping by to save the money, borrow the money, or take out a second mortgage on their home. (And in this economy, the latter option is slim to none. )

So can you love an adopted child as your own? Well, now that my husband and I have experienced adopting our beautiful baby boy, I can tell you that we worried about this but it no longer a concern. Once they placed our beautiful baby in our arms, we knew we would love, cherish, and protect him for the rest of his life.

Adoption is such a personal choice. For many couples it means coming to terms with not being able to conceive a biological child and giving up on that dream.

It’s not the right decision for everyone, but it can be a wonderful thing, if and when you decide it is for you.


For more information on LaShaundra Seale, please visit:

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