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Has God (and the Church) Forgotten Us?


a blog by lashaundra, June 1, 2010

The other day, I was sitting in church thumbing through the church program, when I realized there were at least a dozen support groups, but none of them touched on infertility. At this rather large church, there were support groups for divorcees, single parents, the unemployed, those experiencing recent deaths in their family, groups helping members get out of debt, and groups for members with cancer or other terminal illnesses. Not a word was uttered about women or couples experiencing infertility, a condition that can sometimes leave the person wondering if God has forgotten them.

Experiencing many ups and downs in life is natural, and I've experienced both. With the exception of death, infertility is the most difficult struggle I've ever faced. And, unlike death, where people tend to rally around the family that's left behind, infertility rarely ever brings that kind of support. Yes, there are family members and friends that sometimes support you through your infertility journey, but overall it can be a lonely plight.

In a church of several thousand, I know I'm not the only person who has experienced this difficulty and is looking for an infertility support group. With that said, I have to wonder if the church administrators are aware of the need for such a group.

Maybe they aren't, so I guess it's my responsibility to enlighten them.

And that's what I'm going to do.


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Comments (2)

Just this last week I approached the Health Ministry Coordinator at our church about starting a support group for people dealing with infertility or people who are very fertile but can't seem to stay pregnant. Her first repsonse to me was that in the last couple week she had been approached about starting a Cancer Care support group and a Divorce support group. These are wonderful ministries, however, to me it seems like people that are dealing with those very public life events already have so much available to them. Infertility is definitely a private struggle. No one tells the cancer patient that in God's time all things will work out or the divorcee that they will make a great single parent. Yet the Infertile couple is always the "best auntie and uncle" or the best buddy to their friend's kids. I don't have anything profound to say, but I definitely know the loneliness of infertility, especially when the pews all around are filled with the growing families of all your friends. At any rate, despite my hurting heart and intense longing to be a mother (which may never happen) I hope that I can help make something happen in my own church, not only to meet the needs of hurting couples, but to raise awareness to those who have never been touched by infertility.

What a great post! We are trying to find ways to help make people more aware of infertility and create opportunities for people TTC to talk about what they are going through. We are amazed how little attention it gets in the media, and never even thought about how it is not even talked about in a church setting. You are so on point and you have inspired me to talk to our Pastor and see if I can make a change in at least one church!

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