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a blog by lashaundra, October 18, 2012

On a recent episode of CNBC’s show Til Debt Do Us Part,with Gail Vaz-Oxlade, a couple had two dilemmas. The first dilemma was they had a considerable amount of debt. The second dilemma was, they desperately wanted a baby, and were going to have to undergo IVF to try to have a child. Ms. Vaz-Oxlade is the host of the show, and she does a wonderful job of getting people to realize where they've gone wrong in creating a mountain of debt. Vaz-Oxlade uses a hard-nose approach to getting the participants on a budget and out of debt. I've watched several episodes. This is one of the few episodes, I adamantly disagreed with the host. The host failed to realize, undergoing IVF to have a child, was not in the same category as other debt related expenses. Paying for IVF is not like purchasing a boat, vacation, or other "wants". The yearning for a child is primal, a yearning that can't be denied. One where the potential parents will do anything within their power to have a baby.

This particular female participant of Til Debt Do Us Part was over 35, and had already been told she needed IVF to proceed with a pregnancy. The host failed to realize, with fertility, and IVF there is a window of opportunity. If you miss that window by trying to pay off debt, or to keep from obtaining more debt, you may lose out for good. What good is being debt-free in three years, if your heart is broken because you are forever child-free.

I found myself talking to the TV, begging the participant to follow her dreams. Pleading with her to try IVF at least once, then worry about debt later. In the end, the host was successful in getting the couple on a budget. It was decided, the IVF would be postponed indefinitely. The participant didn't seem geniunely happy about this decision.

I can relate to this story. I did a round of IVF, and my health insurance did not cover it. The $11,000+ dollars came from my pockets. In the end the IVF didn't work, but at least I tried. A few years later, I once again had to throw caution to the wind, worry about debt later, and pay for a private adoption. In the end, I still have debt, but I have a beautiful son that smiles up at me and calls me mommy. Those words are worth a million dollars. Always follow your gut instinct, and never give up on your dreams.

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