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Prime Location: One Unused Womb Seeks Tenants
First built in the mid-1970’s, this property has never been lived in, not even on a temporary basis! It has been actively marketed for 2 years and despite numerous viewings by keen sperms and infrequent visits by eggs, it has yet to find suitable tenants. It is currently undergoing a thorough clean out with the Coil cleaning company – a six month procedure - and is expected to be back on the market and available to rent from July 2009.
Property is available for a forty-week tenancy arrangement. Landlord understands that you may outgrow location however is willing to adapt for as long as is feasibly possible; there is plenty of room out the front for an extension.
Landlord will checking in twice during tenancy at 12 weeks and 20 weeks, but other than that you will be left to your own devises.
Bills all-inclusive! All food, sustenance and nutritional needs catered for. Agreement includes heating, transportation and a relaxing heartbeat.
Initially offered for one sperm and an egg co-habiting, the landlord also welcomes applications from two eggs and two sperm.
Absolutely no smoking or pets allowed.
After the tenancy expires, further accommodation provided, for a period of 18 years (open to negotiation), however, please note that there will be heavier landlord involvement in any new arrangement.
Did I mention there are no additional bills?
It is truly a ONCE IN A LIFETIME offer.
How can it be passed up?
Well, in case that wasn’t too clear:
I’m currently on a six-month break after more than two years of trying to get knocked up. A hysteroscopy back in October showed an awful lot of womb lining festering and refusing to budge with normal periods. The technical term being endometrial hyperplasia with mild atypia.
As a three-month course of Provera failed to shift anything, my doctor has decided that I need to have a progesterone coil inserted for six months to thin out my womb lining.
In addition to that, I have a side order of polycystic ovaries, so I only get an egg released every couple of months, sometimes only once every 4, 5 or 6 months. So even once the womb lining is removed I’m going to have intrauterine insemination (they shove the sperm up rather than expecting the husband to do the deed).
But I’m sure you’ll get much more about that later . . .