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Enjoying the Moment
a blog by Liz
I´m writing this post sitting in the sitting room of a small hotel in Northern Spain. I have a cold beer on one side and a small bowl of nuts on the other. And, now -- just now -- I don´t want a child.
If I had a child, the scramble for seats on the budget air flight would have been unbearable. I saw them at the airport. The parents laden with prams, toys, organic snacks and baby wipes. Red faced and frustrated they tried to keep their voices calm, "Yes, Mummy wants to go too", or to the children that hadn´t even grasped the rudiments of speech they rubbed their backs hoping a big burp would dislodge whatever it was that was making their off spring cranky. They smiled in recognition to the other parents of ankle-biters. To the rest of us they couldn´t make eye contact, knowing only too well we were praying our flight wouldn´t be sound-tracked by the screaming fruit of their loins.
The train journey out to where I am now was stunning. Two hours through forests and mountains punctuated by glimpses of the Atlantic ocean. I was completely absorbed. But if I had a child I would have missed the scenery. Instead the lack of buffet car, the pungent toilet, the heat, the absence of a table on which to do their colouring would have had them repeating the mantra, "I´m bored, when are we going to get there?" until we got there. No longer excited but grumpy.
Even if I was pregnant the rickety toilets and uncomfy seats would have been hard to bare. And the beer and nuts non-existent (I hear conflicting view on whether to eat nuts when you are pregnant, but I know that booze is a no-no).
I still want children as much as ever, but that doesn´t mean that I can´t enjoy the life I have now as a fully paid up DINKY (duel income no kids yet (note YET)). It is something that all my fertile friends have said at some time or other, to enjoy life before you have kids, ´cause once you do, there is no going back.
And a week after I get back my coil will be removed, I´ll know if it has done its job and rid me of my diseased womb lining, and then we can head towards the holy grail of IUI.
But today, I plan to enjoy the moment, and not wish my life away waiting for the point when I can have a baby.