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I'm Truly Thankful ... No, Really, I Am

a blog by Lori Shandle-Fox, Laughing IS Conceivable, November 17 , 2011

To read more of Lori Shandle-Fox's Trust Me: Laughing IS Conceivable blogs, CLICK HERE.

I remember last year at about this time, infertility sites were encouraging people to write in and list all of the things they were thankful for in their lives. (A+ for originality).

A diversion of sorts, I suppose, from the inevitable depressing feelings that show up around the holidays for lots of people —those embroiled in the infertility battle most definitely NOT excluded.

Check out FertilityAuthority's Holiday Infertility Survival Guide.

In my moments of extremely high spirits and feelings of being charitable, I read a few of the lists of what people were thankful for and thought:

"Okay. Nice."

But most of the time I just thought:

"Wow. Do people read these lists and really give a crap what strangers are thankful for?"

So, here's my list of things I'm thankful for this year. My list won't be perfect but at least it will have the sarcasm to counter the corniness. When you read it, see if you give a crap. I'd be curious to know.

  1. I'm thankful that radio stations and mega junk marts waited until after the Fourth of July to dump the bombardment of Christmas carols and nifty gift ideas on us.
  2. Next year the stores will probably have the chocolate Santas a mixin' and a minglin' with the Cadbury Easter eggs.

    (Speaking of which: With the radio carols having started so early this year, I've estimated that by the end of December, I will have had 1,520 "Jingle Bell Rocks rolling around my brain. And interestingly enough, I still won't remember that one line about mix and minglin' or whatever the hell it is. I must have a mental block from some traumatic singles' bar experience years ago involving some nightmarish mixin' and minglin'.)

  3. I'm thankful that I've never had the least bit of an urge to go anywhere near any store on Black Friday. As poor as I always seem to be, I'd rather pay a thousand dollars for an iPod than stand in line in the dark in 10 degree weather with a hundred other psychotics to get 20 percent off.
  4. I'm thankful (corny alert) that my husband still wants to hold my hand. (Maybe he does it just because he thinks for some reason that it will lead to something more disgusting after dark — or maybe he's noticed how old and feeble I've gotten lately and thinks I'll fall if he doesn't hold me up. Either way, I'm okay with it.)
  5. Which brings me to:

  6. I'm thankful that in all that time I spent not conceiving there was still someone interested in touching my nasty self.
  7. I'm thankful for Facebook so I can keep in touch with my old, long lost friends, and for confirming what I always suspected —I know a lot of losers who have a lot of time on their hands.
  8. I'm thankful that the Pilgrims kept me in mind when they created Thanksgiving and made football part of the celebration.
  9. I'm thankful that I have a lot of close relatives who live far away.
  10. I'm thankful for Tums from Halloween through the first of the year.
  11. I'm thankful for sweat suits for giving only me the impression that my pants haven't gotten any tighter during the holidays.
  12. I'm most thankful that I have people like you who, for a reason beyond my comprehension, continue to read the rantings of someone like me.

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!


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