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MUST We Call Infertility a 'Journey'?

a blog by Lori Shandle-Fox, July 16, 2012

I've been writing about infertility — blogging — for two years now and one thing has got me stymied. Why do we call it an infertility "journey"?

I'm fully aware that one of my issues is that I'm a rebel at heart and pretty much every other part of my body, mind and soul, and therefore dislike trendy expressions.

Like all of a sudden everybody feels so blessed.

    "I have a great husband. I'm so blessed."
    "I have a great job. I'm so blessed."
    "The guy who mows our lawn cut it so nicely this week. I'm so blessed."

Apparently nobody feels screwed over anymore. Yeah.

"Journey" is one of those words too. Nobody's starving to death or having their house fall into foreclosure because they can't find a job. They're just on a "journey to success." (Why do I feel like I'm channeling George Carlin all of a sudden?)

"Journey" to me brings thoughts of two little doggies and a cat trying to find their way home in a Disney movie. A journey is an adventure. An adventure where we discover and grow, explore and learn. Infertility isn't a journey. It's a very expensive chunk of our lives that we'll never have back to do something more enjoyable with.

This "infertility journey" thing really bothers me. (Who's overreacting?) I'm determined to find something else to call it.

Let's try out some alternatives, shall we?. Let me know how they sound.

    "So, for about six years now, my husband and I have been on this infertility plummet..."


    "As we've been traveling through this infertility sink hole..."

    Or one of my personal favorites:

    "Just know that you're not alone in your infertility abyss..."

    Here are a few oldies but goodies:

    "As you head down the road into the infertility quicksand..."

    "As we navigate our way around the infertility minefield..."

The online definition that I found for "journey" is: "Traveling from one place to another." That's it. That's the whole explanation of what a journey is. Infertility's not even that. In fact, it's practically the exact opposite. Infertility is the anti-journey if you will.

The definition of "Infertility?" It's certainly not: "Traveling from one place to another."

It's more like:

"Standing in one spot for several months banging your head against the wall while your spouse sticks nightly needles into your butt."

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