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"Infertility is Hard Enough Without..."

So now that I've decided to call this: "Infertility is Hard Enough Without..." I'm just hoping this doesn't turn into a 6,000 word post. (Or more likely a 200 word post followed by a 5800 word rant where I just spray curse words all over cyberspace. Close your eyes. You really don't want to get swear spray in your eyes. It's like sunscreen.) Here we go.

Feel free to join our little kvetch-a-long with your own sentence endings. (A kvetch-a-long is like a sing-a-long with whining instead of guitars.)

"Infertility is Hard Enough Without..."
People asking dumb questions

Okay, so I have to go to the doctor twice a week, throw my legs open in the air during which I once said to the doctor: "You realize that outside of a medical office, women who do this as often as I do in front of a man other than their husband usually get paid handsomely."

On top of that humiliation, you have to endure:

"You're not going through those treatments are you? If you were meant to have a baby, you'd have a baby."

"It's not happening because you're thinking about it way too much."

"My sister got pregnant by accident. Maybe she'll give you her baby. You could ask her."

Is this the same sister who wouldn't share her chips with me in the cafeteria in high school? So she's stingy with her snacks but will give away her off-spring freely. Good priorities there.

"Infertility is Hard Enough Without..."
Having to explain it to people

So you try to let in the people closest to you. You feel you owe it to them. (Big Mistake number one) You also think they could be a great support system for you (Big Mistake number two) Things go swimmingly as long as you're the only one speaking.

The second they go to respond, you realize you should have kept your upper trap shut about what was being done to your lower trap. (Who said that?)

The second they take that deep breath preparing to comment, you realize instead of letting them into your private business, you should have just shot yourself between the eyes.

Talking to them about it is bad enough but nothing, I repeat, NOTHING, is worse than the dreaded Follow-Up.

"I went to the doctor today to see how many follicles I had."

This is where we need to learn to practice and perfect the about-face method. You spit out a sentence and then turn around and walk away the second the last syllable has dropped out of your mouth. Or maybe even a syllable before. Because if not, you've just opened yourself up for the sickening follow-up:

"So how'd it go?"

Too late. Back to you.

Then, bad enough you confided in someone, but you confided in someone with a memory and/or a meticulously kept calendar. So now you've told her that you have to go back on Thursday to see how the follicles have been growing and as sure as I'm sitting here typing, you know she's going to be standing there in front of your face on Thursday and calling and texting and emailing to bring you back into the vicious circle:

"So, how'd it go?"

"Infertility is Hard Enough Without..."
Having to pay for it

Okay, so I have to go for the shots. And I have to go for the tests. And I have to have a team of doctors up to their elbows in my woo-hoo. And I have to pay for it? And the fee is four times greater than the "Year-to-date" amount on my pay stub in the third week of December?

First of all, I see where there could easily be discounts. I give myself the injections. My degree is in Spanish. Shouldn't a nurse be coming over to my house every night at those prices?

Then, when I was having an IVF cycle during the summer, we had to manipulate some dates and procedures and things with my cycle because the doctors were closing the office to go on vacation. Wait....I'm coming along. I paid for part of that beach house. No manipulating my anything. Bring your medical bag. You can do the procedure in Myrtle Beach.

"Infertility is Hard Enough Without..."
Okay, stop!

Obviously we can go on and on and on about our gripes, but what's the point? Let's just say: "Infertility is Hard Enough Without... Constantly Bitching about it" and leave it at that.


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