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Do You Know Your Fertility Doctor As Well as She Knows You? No, That Would Be Inappropriate

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a blog by Lori Shandle-Fox, July 10, 2013

I completely believe that how well you know your medical professionals should depend on how well they know you. My dentist...I'm not that concerned about. In fact, I'll tell you how much I don't know about him. I don't even know what he looks like. I know that sounds weird but every time he approaches me in the chair, he's already got the paper mask thing going on. If at some point during my appointment he were to sneak out and steal my car in the parking lot, I couldn't pick him out of a three person line-up. Any male within a twenty mile radius with blue eyes and thinning hair would be a suspect. But it's okay that I don't know him from Adam because he only knows my teeth. (Okay he probably also knows my tongue better than any other man but my husband but let's move on shall we?)

Now my Reproductive Endocrinologist, my fertility specialist... That's a whole 'nother story. (Then again, like my dentist, I doubt if my fertility doctor would recognize me in a crowd unless it was Halloween and I was dressed up as my uterus. He doesn't spend nearly as much time with my outer shell.)

Ten minutes after "Hello, I'm Doctor so and so..." he was all up into my hormones. Within the hour, he knew all about my genetics: Who came from where, who married their first cousin... Two days later, I was lying flat on my back in an "L" position tanning the bottoms of my feet under his fluorescent lights. (It took my husband eight 5-star meals, front row seats at the U.S. Open, and a marriage proposal to get me into that position.)

Once you've tickled my internal organs, I need to know more about you. Just little things: "Are you married?" (Although lying nekkit on his table but for my paper prom dress, I usually steer clear of anything that even remotely sounds like a pick-up line.)

"Do you have kids?" Maybe it's unfair but it's kind of the bald hair stylist and the marriage counselor who's been divorced three times sort of thing. If you can't get it right for yourself...

"What are your hobbies?" Sounds harmless enough but I'll never ask that one again. One doctor told me that on the weekends he's a spelunker: He explores caves. You would have thought he'd had enough of it Monday to Friday.

"Where are you from?" "Where'd you go to high school?" "What organizations do you belong to?" "Are you now or have you ever been a member of the Communist Party?" "Are your parents alive?" "Is that your real voice?" "Are your hands ever warm?"

I know. Most people would just be boring and unoriginal and stop at: "Do you have a license to practice medicine?"

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